SoCS: if

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “if.” Start your post with the word “If.” Enjoy!

If I could go back and have a do-over, what would I change? Would I change who my parents were; still traumatized by war and death?

Would I change having a big sister and choose to be the big sister? If I had brothers, would my life have been different? If my mom didn’t have MS, she certainly would have been a different person, a different mom.

If I had been raised differently I wouldn’t have picked my husband for a mate. If I had known abuse was more than being hit, if I had known I deserved better, if he had agreed to counselling. . . I might have had a happier life.

If, if, if . . . Hindsight is 20/20. All of those problems give us insight; we are supposed to get older and wiser. If we don’t learn from those mistakes then we will repeat them. And don’t bother trying to tell younger people what you’ve learned; they won’t listen. They have to grow up and make their own mistakes.

Now, if I had a million dollars . . . why waste good ‘ifs’ on the past? If I had a million dollars I would still live here. A million dollars isn’t what it used to be when buying a new house but it could do some great renovations! I might even bulldoze this and start fresh! OMG, I could bore you with a long list of what I would do if I had a million dollars!

If my life had gone differently I would be somebody else. Overcoming all those obstacles made me strong. I like who I’ve become. If I live longer I might even get wiser!