Daily Prompt; July 30- 2014

In January I wrote this blog in response to a ‘prompt’ asking us to ‘dream ahead to July 30th’. Today is July 30th so we can go back to our post and see how it turned out.

https://monicleblog.wordpress.com/2014/01/21/dreaming-july-30th-2014/

Well, not too bad. I knew I was being extremely positive; especially with ‘meeting someone’; but it did say ‘dream’.

I still have my job and today I’m off so that part turned out. On Sunday night there was a tornado in Grand Bend where I work.  Monday morning the store was closed but running on a generator. No one was in the bakery so I started out doing the dishes, as we call it, but it’s stacks of heavy muffin and baking trays, scoops, spatulas, knives, etc.  The tornado had come in about 7:00 p.m. the night before taking the power out for the whole town. One of our part-time teenagers ,who would’ve done the dishes, had been in the bakery by herself when the power went out.

Everything that contained dairy products had to be thrown out. I was asked to stay late and come in early to re-stock. Monday I worked 7 hours, yesterday 6 hours. The point of all this is that  I am so freaking happy to be off today….. this old gal needs to recuperate.

Today is unseasonably cold and cloudy so not a beach day, although it would great for a walk.

I did have a beach day with the kids last week.  My sister tried to find out if we could go to Stony Point beach on the reserve but we ended up all coming to ‘my beach’ which is at the end of ‘my road’.  It wasn’t even too crowded due to the e.coli warnings. So the comment about “all those people peeing in the lake” was somewhat prophetic. Will doesn’t like the water and my niece has common sense; unlike the rest of us.

Checklist;

1. still have my job.
2. still like my job.
3. have the day off today.
4. had a beach day with the kids.

Not too far off! Like my mother used to say (seriously) “don’t expect too much then you won’t disappointed.”

(I did find a mistake in the post. I can proof-read something a hundred times and read over a mistake.)

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/190-days-later/

Daily Prompt; **!Sixty-One!** (applause)

I’m glad you asked.  Not many people have the nerve or lack of social graces to ask my age anymore but I have no problem when they do….. I’m 61!  Taa daa! And I’m proud of it.  I see no reason to lie about my age. What if I said I was 58? Who the hell cares? I’ll never understand women who do that. “If you are worried what people think of you, just remember how little they do”. -Dr. Phil (sorry!)

But I really don’t like it when women ask me how old I think they are. It’s a loaded question that fills my heart with fear. Never answer that question honestly. That happened recently; someone who had been very proud of looking young but cigarettes and poor eating habits were starting to take their toll. “You have to be at least ten years younger than me”, I lied to be safe. She was 12 years younger than me, (phew).

When you are young you can do anything to your body and it doesn’t show. But what you choose to do in those years will start showing up in your 50’s and it’s a slippery downhill slope from then on. At my age a healthy 70 year old can look as good as an unhealthy 60 year old and a very unhealthy 55 year old. So, in that respect, the number doesn’t matter.

Now it’s a curiosity; How old are you?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/age-old-questions/

Don’t put your BFF’s all in one basket

I wasn’t going to write this at first because I don’t have a best friend. I made the mistake of thinking my husband was my best friend but he turned out to be not a very good one.

We fell in love when we met;  swept away with love and joy that we had found our soul mates. I had lived in Toronto and Vancouver and had friends there but we all got married and moved away from each other. My husband and I moved a couple of times for jobs and since he was ‘my best friend’ I didn’t bother to make new friendships.  I had friends at the Farmers Market I worked at; mostly other vendors but some regular customers I got to know. I saw them every Saturday.

We had friends we caved with (spelunking) and one female caver lived close by so we were friends for a few years. But she was a hard-core caver so when I got too old and wanted to stay home, she was only friends with my husband who could take her on good cave trips. Once when I complained Doug and I never did anything else anymore, like hiking, she said, “Why don’t you just get a life and let Doug do whatever he wants?”  Our ‘friendship’ ended that day.

My mom used to try to warn me, “You should have other friends” But I would say “Doug is my best friend”. I didn’t have time for anyone else.

When we broke up, I was broken. Verbal and emotional abuse had destroyed my spirit. I called a few people I knew to say I was at my sisters’ but no one ever called me back or bothered to find out how I was doing. I was still in contact with my ex, and he would tell me “so and so says hello”. Man, that hurt.  After all; they could see what a ‘nice guy’ he was and what a mess I was.

I went on Facebook and hated it at first but one day an old boyfriend found me and within a week I was back in touch with all my old friends from Toronto and Vancouver. Getting these friends back has been awesome!  The old boyfriend’s childhood cottage near Bracebridge (we used to go up on the weekends and get very stoned) was bought by some other friends and now we have a reunion every year there. A couple of my old best friends married and live in Bracebridge so I can go stay with them for the party weekend. So say what you want about Facebook; I would not have my old friends back without it!   And I can say I have 65 friends!

I would still like have a good friend around here but it gets harder as you get older. So many people have such busy, full lives they are trying to cut back; they don’t need new friends. And the women I have met, well…… let’s just say I’m being careful about who I let in my life.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/on-bees-and-efs/

Work is not a virtue.

Here’s an old one I’m going to re-blog because it’s been on my mind.

monicle's chronicles

My generation certainly has a better work ethic than what I see today. But sometimes it’s a little too good. Many of us judge ourselves and others by how much work we do. The more we work, they better we are. Or I should say the ‘gooder’ we are. We are OK as long as we are working…. we have something to show for our time. Being lazy is bad. It’s a guilty pleasure we don’t have to tell anyone about.

We see articles about very ‘successful’ people only to find their personal lives lacking, estranged from their own kids, suffering from depression and anxiety. But they are still held up in high esteem for how hard they worked.

Stay-at-home moms, who work as hard or harder than anyone, still hear that they don’t work.  I worked with my husband keeping bees, making beeswax products and working Farmer’s Markets.  I worked all the time, non-stop. …

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The Walker

This song isn’t new; I first heard it when Ellen did her commercial for the Emmy’s (or Grammies or some reward show) and really liked it. It’s one of those songs that can just change my frame of mind and make me more determined to make myself happy…… no one else is going to do it for me!

This summer they added it to the soft rock they play at my grocery store. I work with some very negative people who make will sounds like a demon possessed if I try and talk about being positive. Seriously, the song “Happy” came on, which makes just about everyone feel better but my co-worker sneered, “Yulch… This f*#&ing song bugs the hell out of me.” I laughed out loud!

But I like The Walker even better, I can just dance and feel good out of total defiance! I say take that, you glum bums!

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/musical-marker/

Daily Prompt; Can’t Watch This

When was the last time you watched something so scary, cringe-worthy, or unbelievably tacky — in a movie, on TV, or in real life — you had to cover your eyes?

As a matter of fact two things come to mind just from yesterday. The first is cringe-worthy for me but no one else seems to notice. I can’t cover my eyes as I’m walking but I do have to avert my eyes from the lobster tank in the grocery store I work at. When I need fresh fruit for tarts and cakes, I get them from the produce dept. and have to walk by the lobster tank in seafood. It freaks me out every time. I literally have to turn my head and force them out of my mind. There are a bunch of crustaceans with their claws held by thick elastic bands (making them totally vulnerable) crowded up on each other trying to escape captivity from a little tank in a grocery store. Why doesn’t anyone else see this? If this were any other animal we would be shocked but we’ve become used to it so it’s OK. Most people will tell me they don’t think or feel. Really? It sure doesn’t look like that to me.  And they don’t even know they are going to be dropped alive in boiling water. “The horror, The Horror!”

Last night I was up late and clicked onto MXS which shows porn after midnight. I do this every once in a while out of curiosity, voyeurism and ,hopefully, a laugh. Whooaa! The whole screen was an extreme close up of a penis entering a vagina. And I have a 45 inch screen! Immediately I check to see if all my curtains are closed in case my neighbours are standing outside my windows at 1:00 a.m. ,pointing a finger, saying, “Ah ha! We always knew she was weird!”.  I couldn’t look. I hit ‘last channel’ just to turn it anywhere. That was so gross!  Now it’s in my memory….. be careful!…. you can’t un-see something.

I was just going to write; “I wish I could get insensitive over the lobsters”…. but then I immediately thought, “no, I don’t!”  I hope I never harden to another creature’s suffering.  But two consenting adults? That’s another story! I’d just rather not watch them, thank you.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/cant-watch-this/

Daily Prompt; It’s Not Easy Being Me

It’s not easy being me. At 61 owning a house and working, even part-time, is all that I can handle. I really love my little house tucked into the woods but the cost of just owning a house and car is crazy. It costs a lot even to be poor! It would make more sense for me to sell it and live where I don’t have to own a car or do yard work.  But I don’t want to move…. I want to have it all! Time, money, love and health. and sugar, too.

I should be around people more because I spend a lot of time alone and get kind of crazy. I know; In order to meet someone I have to put myself ‘out there’. But I don’t like it out there, I only like it in here. The only thing I really like going out to is Zumba but I haven’t done that in a couple of months. My days off I try do some yard work then decide that’s enough exercise.  I really just like to be at home, puttering. I don’t like excessive, needless talking. This used to be OK because I was married to someone who was the same way. We could be loners but still have someone. (Although I used to think many times “why do I feel lonely when I’m married?”) I wish I had someone to talk with but don’t make any effort to go out or phone anyone. When the phone rings I groan, “oh, who’s that….” and check the call display to see if they are worthy…. and very few are.  It’s not easy being me.

I think I just perceive things differently than everyone else. I’ll bet everyone who reads this knows exactly what I’m talking about; that’s why we’re blogging! Somewhere we need a space to air our views without being ridiculed or having to defend ourselves. And to make things more difficult; I’m vegetarian. Not one of those obnoxious types who nags everyone then silently goes back to meat eating; it’s been about 35 years and is fully ingrained as part of me. Basically, people eat whatever they want and so do I. By todays hippy standards I should be vegan but I don’t want to give up dairy. Cheese, yogurt, sour cream, paneer….. I would hate to give up those thing so I don’t bug anyone who wants to eat meat. I don’t care what anyone eats! Many of the reasons I used to give for being vegetarian don’t hold true if I eat dairy; that would make me a hypocrite. Too hard on myself? It’s not easy being me.

My brain is just not as good as it used to be. I can’t believe the little things I forget or suddenly make a leap back 30 years in my memory. I’m not sharp anymore; my brain feels mushy and foggy. I’m getting better at covering it up though; I use to be too damn honest and get myself in trouble. (it’s never been easy being me)  A month ago, at work, I was making banana cream pies and forgot to put sliced bananas on the bottom of the crust, before the filling. I was actually putting in the filling ,scoffing; “That’s all there is to a banana cream pie? One cap of banana flavouring?” Somewhere between the 4th and 5th pie it dawned on me. I hot flashed. Thankfully my boss was on his break; I went like the wind to the produce dept. got some bananas and got some slices in the last few before he got back. He already groans at me too much.

I’ve been without my computer for a while but finally got it fixed and set up yesterday. I was supposed to send a copy of a receipt in the mail three days ago and I will get the money back. Thank God I scanned it last l week because I can’t find the original receipt anywhere. I even picked through the garbage (it’s not easy……). I had to drive to town to get the computer and set it up to get the receipt. I was so happy it was still in there and saved because I thought for sure the way things are going that would be lost money, too.

The mail boxes in my area don’t get mail pick up on weekends so this morning I drove into town again so I could mail it at the post office, knowing it was open until noon, and get a few things I saw on sale at the grocery when I took the computer in but didn’t have enough money.  It’s Saturday: I dropped the letter with the receipt in the mailbox that doesn’t get opened until Monday and the stuff I needed was no longer on sale. Tomorrow I am working at another grocery store and driving right by another post office. A wasted trip to town when I could have been wasting my time here!

I just don’t have enough time for a job.

It’s not easy being me…… but I like me.

I’m very happy to be back in the blogging dimension….. I missed you all!

 

NOTE; today’s prompt was; write about any topic you feel like — but you must reuse your opening line (at least) two more times in the course of your post.  I was going to write “I’m back!” so this gave me the perfect venue.

 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/from-the-top/

Accepting your aging body

I read a blog from Huffington post this morning from a 59 year old woman who wrote about an experience dating a 55 year old man. Her story was just like one of my worst fantasies about computer dating and why I will never do it. I say ‘one of’ my worst fantasies because the main worst scenario is meeting the person for a date and deciding within 5 minutes I never want to see him again; then having to tell him that, nicely, of course.

But this story is about meeting someone that seemed like he was going to be a great companion, only to find he “can’t be turned on by your aging body.”

It’s hard to maintain a good body image when you are aging. I have to keep telling myself “I’m great for 61” but I have to add that ‘…for 61’ to believe it. Even though I’m not overweight, my skin still hangs looser. My small breasts are a lot farther down on my chest; they used to be almost under my armpits now they are slowly migrating down towards my new, mushy belly. My thighs jiggle and my arms flap. I have almost no eyebrows.

So imagine dating some guy like this who you thought was going to be a great companion and you find out he’s an asshole.

No, I don’t want to go through the ‘trial and error’ of dating. I will meet someone or not; I can love myself. What I would really like is to have a crush on someone.  Someone who won’t be there in the morning!

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-korth/sex-over-50_b_5563576.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

Procrastination Destination

Today my mouse is working and I’m not. This IS my procrastination destination; my computer and this blogging world.

I got in here a few days ago but couldn’t open any posts, just see the little blurbs at the top. When I opened up WordPress today, I discovered I have been logged in all along….. don’t like that! Today I got to catch up on the blogs I follow.
I lingered on Facebook for an extra long while. The last few days I figured out how to get into Facebook and work my way around it with keyboard shortcuts but couldn’t open any stories from Huffington post or DIY.
This morning I got to read about Raju, an elephant who was in captivity, abused for 50 years then rescued. He shed tears, knowing he was being rescued, and is now is living well at an elephant shelter.

There was a blog from a 59 year old woman who told her story about dating, sex and her aging body. (I’m going to re-post it). She dated a 55 year old who told her he couldn’t get turned on by her aging body; he’d been “spoiled by dating younger women”.
I read a list on how to clean everything and got a recipe for armpit stains. And ‘life-fixes’ like making a cell phone stand out of a toilet paper roll and push pins.
I joined a page announcing a benefit for my neighbour who was recently diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. It feels like such a weak gesture.

I found out the full moon that just passed was a Super Moon. I did notice the other night, though, that the moon shone so brightly it was casting moon shadows. That was super!

I told myself I was going to really buckle down and do some housework today…….. but there are just a couple more sites I want to check out first……….

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/now-later/

OMG… I’m in!

Hello all my fellow bloggers! What’s a blogger without a computer? Not a blogger!

I haven’t been in here for about a week. My computer takes a long time to boot up then there is no mouse. I know I should get it fixed but my car also needs work. On my day off I wrote out two pages of keyboard shortcuts. Everyday I find a way to do another thing.

Let me tell you this is a major feat to be writing right now.  I had an old note somewhere that had the code: Left Alt + Left shift +Numbers Lock  (I can’t ‘highlight’ or get up to the menu so write that code down and save it. Go print up keyboard shortcuts. You will be happy one day you did it.)  I got into Windows help and wrote out the short cuts.  I was ecstatic just to get on-line! I checked my mail and got into Explorer; checked the weather and the local newspaper.

On the Weather Network I got onto their little ‘like us on Facebook’ button and got into Facebook! But once my tab got into the posts it would not go anywhere but down. It just scrolls down and down proving there is, indeed, no end to the crap on Facebook.

So here I am today. I found my way into here and adding a new post! Now what do I say?  HELLO!!!! I’m still here! I miss your posts with my morning coffee so much!

I’ve been working three days a week and sometimes get extra hours as we’ve been so busy at the bakery. I had to get the brakes fixed on my car and found out the frame is rusted so bad its not safe. Getting my computer fixed has been low on my priorities. It means paying a guy to come into my house and fix it because that’s more practical than driving to a city an hour away and leaving it there.

Ohhh. Jeez! I just sent my tab on a run around the block; thought I would never get the cursor back here! But I did confirm I can land it on the ‘Publish’ button.

I hope I can get back on here tomorrow and read some posts. As for today; I’m off, the weather is perfect and I’m going outside.

Happy to find my way back!