I hear a lot of seniors complain about their meager income but I, for one, am looking forward to my monthly Old Age Pension cheques that start this month. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that my government is going to send me enough to live on just because I’m 65 years old.

For many people it is not enough to live on but for a lot of complainers….. it is. Let me tell you….. after living on an extremely meager income this OAP (Old Age Pension) is going to be the most secure I’ve ever been; the best income I’ve ever had.

Now mind you, I do own my house. When I separated from my husband I received a settlement. With most of it I bought a house and then could work part-time. I’m so glad I did that. If I had taken that settlement and got an apartment I would be in deep shit now because that money would be long gone. I would be looking at most of my pension going to rent.

There are advantages to being poor.  I will receive a supplement because I have no other pensions and I also am eligible for a break on my electricity bill for being low-income. Yesterday I received a letter saying I’m eligible for another $83 supplement because ‘low income’.

I don’t feel poor. I feel like I’m so freaking lucky I can hardly believe it.

Yesterday someone asked me if I was going somewhere warm this winter and I said “I can’t afford it.” and I don’t care that I can’t afford it. I’ll be somewhere warm…. my livingroom! I have a propane furnace but I also have a wood-stove so I can get my livingroom hot if I want to. I can afford to keep my satellite TV and eat my favourite foods.

Now it just sounds like I’m bragging but that’s not what I started out to say. I was in the lunch room last week and woman who was retired but back at work was complaining about the meager OAP. She said, in a very bitter voice; “They say they are going to give us a raise but it’s only $120.”

Oh god this bugs me. You are getting a pension and have free medical care…… do you know how damn lucky you are?!  Are complaining that you don’t have enough ‘disposable income’ or can’t go ‘somewhere warm’ for the winter?

Do you know how many people in the world have nothing? In many countries there is no old age pension. In the great country of America you may not have access to the best medical care. What we call meager is wealth in a third world country.

I’m grateful for my meager income.


In Theory…

The theory is that I will love staying home all winter when I retire in three weeks. I had chance to experiment this week and put my theory to the test.

My schedule worked out that I have a whole week off, Wednesday to Wednesday. On Friday they were predicting a weekend of snow so I went to SuperStore and bought a lot of food, some blue mascara and a new top to wear at Christmas. I was feeling buoyant on the way home: it was still sunny out and I was looking forward to working on the latest jigsaw puzzle; a photo of buttons.

Saturday I wrote a post and spent most the day decorating my tree. It takes a long time. Everything has to hang which isn’t easy on a real tree. especially the icicles. I started collecting icicles when I gave up tinsel. It’s the final touch.



It didn’t snow very much. Apparently there was snow all around us but we just got a dusting.

Sunday they promised more snow but it didn’t happen although it was blowing and icy cold.  I finished decorating above the cupboards with a fake pine bough, lights and little snowy houses. Then I put away the boxes, cleaned up and got out the puzzle.

Finished it.

Monday: ‘I could go out. I should go see my aunt’ in the nursing home which I’m already getting twinges of guilt over because I didn’t go Friday. The snow wasn’t supposed to start until noon.  But I have lots of food and it’s cold outside. She has dementia so she doesn’t even know I didn’t go last week.

It hardly snowed at all. I broke up the puzzle (can’t do it right away), laid down my new felt roll-up fabric on my puzzle board and prepared for the next puzzle. That involves picking up every piece, dividing the main colours into three box lids and laying putting the border out on the board. Do not ask me why I like doing this so much because I do not know. But I do know I’m damn lucky I can entertain myself so easily.

This morning I woke up to snow flurries. It’s about damn time! Hells Bells, they’ve been warning about snow for days now and its finally happening. North and east of here they’ve been deluged but it keeps missing us.

This is Day Four staying home. Okay, I’m a little nutty. Not only have I been talking to myself which is normal but I’ve been loud and obnoxious at times, breaking into maniacal laughter and Christmas songs. I check my phone and Facebook way more often. Even I, the Loner/Hermit, is feeling the lack of human contact. Damn, I wish I had some friends around here!

So the theory about how happy I will be when I retire has been put to the test. It’s going to be lonely and I will have to force myself to go OUT and DO things. There will be no more excuses to put off cleaning the dusty, unorganized areas of my home that need work. There is always housework, unfortunately.

But I certainly DO NOT want to put on that uniform, drive to that store and do that job anymore. Wednesday will be my first night driving in the snow this year and I’m not looking forward to that the least bit, people or no people. When it snows I can dig myself out at my leisure and that’s my job of the day….. not the start of my working day.

I still feel overwhelming gratitude that I’m getting a pension and can stay home for the rest of the winter. The theory is that I will be happy. The experiment starts December 28th: my last day of work!


SoCS; liqu

There is one thing I miss about liquor; the thick, warm liquid going slowly down your throat. That’s something I just haven’t been able to replicate. Ginger ale is guzzled. Hot tea is sipped. The only thing that has even remotely tempted me into drinking liquor would be cinnamon whiskey. Oh, yeah….. bring out a non-alcoholic version of that!

Years (decades) ago I gave up meat, eggs, alcohol and drugs. I did not have any trouble giving up or desiring these things except for marijuana. I never missed meat or alcohol but I missed smoking pot always. Years went by and I started to smoke again because I wanted to. I quit again for a few years just because it was so expensive and I had to deal with assholes to get it.

But I always missed it. Now I grow my own so I have no problems with supply or assholes.

For years I have been really sick of the hypocrisy of alcohol vs. marijuana. Alcohol is beyond socially acceptable; it’s almost a social requirement. How do you have fun? I’ve been asked. I get sick of all the memes and quotes on Facebook about wine, wine, wine or how falling down drunk was a good time. No, getting drunk is neither fun nor funny. You are really sick the next day…… duh!

But what if I brought my vaporizer to Christmas Day? Oh my, what a degenerate! You can’t do that in front of the kids!!! That’s doing drugs!!!

How long will it take for attitudes to change? It’s going to be very interesting to see what happens with legalization. It may be legal, but will it be acceptable?

Will people have lit up cabinets for their fancy bong collection. “Would you like to try one? Here….. light it up!”

I’m really looking forward to trying the edibles. Maybe, just maybe they will come up with a warm, thick liquid cinnamon marijuana liqueur.

But then, I would probably drink too much of it.


Gettin’ Goin’

Due to daylight ‘savings’ I don’t get the prompt until 9:00 a.m. What a difference an hour makes. At 8:00 I can start writing something but by 9:00 I’m gettin’ goin’.

I’m going to TOWN today. Yucky, but have to do some Christmas shopping and my star Christmas tree lights don’t work. Gosh, it takes a lot of lights to light up a tree. I ended up putting two strands of outdoor lights on it.

That’s as far as I got yesterday. Put up some more outdoor lights and brought in my Christmas tree that was standing outside in a bucket of water. I like to do this in stages over days. Last night I got the lights on but I haven’t gotten out any decorations yet. Maybe I can get some more star lights today.

It’s very warm again for this time of year: it’s already 10C. But tomorrow the snow is coming and winter begins for real.  I’m working tomorrow night but I’m not worried because I have on my snow tires.

So I’ll go to TOWN today. Tomorrow I’ll get out the other box of decorations before work and set myself up for Thursday. Maybe there will be snow on the ground and I’ll have the day off to do the tree.

See now, there’s still 20 minutes before the prompt. I just can’t wait that long.

I gotta get goin’.

SoCS: Cramps

Ew, the cramps. I’d forgotten about those. When I was young I used to have severe cramps. I told that to a doctor when I first went to find out why I wasn’t getting pregnant. He told me to “get a bottle of wine and relax”.

At that time we were moving to a new area and it took a while to settle and find a new doctor. By this time the cramps were unbearable and there were other ghastly symptoms I won’t write about because it’s gross.

I had endrometriosis that had been going on for too long….. the damage was done.

But I don’t want to think or write about that.

Yesterday I had a cramp in my brain when I went for my appointment for my fourth emissions test and they told me they couldn’t do it there, I had to go to the far away one I went to for the third e-test.  I was cross-eyed mad, couldn’t think, bordering on impaired driving.

Went home and phoned them, they said I could come any time. Drove there, passed the test, drove over to Superstore, (the only place I can buy a tree short enough Christmas tree to get in my Suzuki hatchback) drove to Service Ontario, got my damn sticker and got home by 2:30: Triumphant!

Christmas car

Sometimes I get a cramp in my foot but I pull my toes forward and it goes away.


One Way or Another

One way or another I’m going to pass that damn emissions test. I started the process over three weeks ago and failed the emissions test which I need to get to re-new my licence plates. Had to get a whole new exhaust system (I don’t want to even say how much) with a very expensive catalytic converter. Got that done and failed the test again. $20.

I posted on Facebook about my trials and tribulations when I got pulled over last Sunday morning on my way to work and charged with expired stickers. $110. I’ve been getting a slew of advice about additives and gas. No mechanic said to use additives or anything about gas. They said ‘it hasn’t been driven around enough’. I got temporary stickers, $15, and drove it all week, worked Saturday and Sunday; an hours driving per day.

Monday morning I filled up with Premium gas, $40, and drove to a far away Canadian Tire sure I would pass. Failed again. This time it was $30.


I drove it back to the garage that fixed it. A few sensors haven’t ‘kicked in’. He said “do NOT put in any additives as that might affect the test” and my gas tank was too full; it should be about half full.  I have to do ‘drives’ the correct way….. so complicated I had ask for a print out.

While I was waiting for the mechanic to check it out, there was a woman waiting who was dressed in old sweat pants and her shoes looked more like slippers. She started talking, very pleasant and smiling although she had no teeth. She was hoping there wasn’t much wrong with her car because it was her mentally challenged son’s 16th birthday and she was taking him and his friends to paintball. All money she had was going to his birthday party.

That sure knocked the self-pity right out of me. Today I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home. We’ve had no snow yet and its warm and sunny. If I was going into work I would be grouchy as hell but I’m feeling grateful instead. I hope to put away the last of my firewood into the woodshed and couldn’t get better weather for November.

One way or another this will get done. But for today I’m not going to worry about it….. although I should go for a ‘drive’.:









I wrote a post about my car repair but it’s too long and boring so I’ll give a précis on the story;  Went to get stickers for my car and needed an emissions test first. Failed the test and had to get a new exhaust system which I finally got done last Friday. So I was driving with expired stickers but it was the weekend and I had to work. The odds of getting pulled over was slim.

Sunday morning, 8:45 a.m. on good roads I’m driving to work and see flashing red and blue lights. I pulled over expecting him to rush past me but he pulled up behind me. Sonofabitch!! I haven’t been pulled over in decades. He told me I was speeding at 110 kph (68 mph) and when he pulled up my licence found I was driving with expired stickers.  Can you believe it? I sure couldn’t.

He went back to his cruiser while I mentally kicked myself and swore. Luckily he showed me mercy; he would only charge me with expired plates ($110) because a speeding ticket would be $220, raise my insurance and lose points. Good thing I’m a nice, white old lady.

Do you know how hard it is to drive at the speed limit (80 kph) when no one is in front you? My normal speed is 110 kph on the highway.

Yesterday I went for my second e-test and failed because I haven’t driven it around enough! $20. Got temporary stickers for $15.

Went in to work the closing shift and the Big Boss is coming so ‘do some extra detailed cleaning. Pull out all the racks and do a real good job on the floors’ Seriously? Look at me, I’m old and tired!  “Six more weeks, six more weeks” I kept telling myself,  Thank God.

Driving home my lights weren’t so good. When I got home I checked and a headlight is out.

Today I’m off. I should drive around and try to get a headlight but I don’t want to. I’m tired, my knee is sore and I want to stay warm. I’ve got that “I give up” kind of feeling.  I’ll take a drive down to the beach, around the big block to ‘set my exhaust’ and make an appointment for a new headlight and e-test for tomorrow or Friday. Luckily I don’t have a night shift until next week.

I am so thankful to be getting an Old Age Pension starting next month. If I had to go on doing this I would be so unhappy. I’m going to put my whole first cheque on my credit card/exhaust system and start my retirement in January on a clean slate. I say thankful instead of grateful because actually walk around muttering; Thank You, Thank You. To whom or what I’m not quite sure but I’m feeling it’s mercy.



Psst! it’s SoCS

Psst! Over here!  I shouldn’t talk about money, my mom told me that was wrong but I’m so excited I’m bursting!

Yesterday I got a notice from CRA telling me what my monthly OAP will be and it was way more than I thought! I swooned with happiness! I had to keep looking at the number to make sure it was true!

I had just got my car back with it’s new $1800 exhaust system. Ouch. Picked up my mail on the way in and there it was….. Service Canada. drum roll

I won’t say how much because, as I said before, my mom said that’s in bad taste. But It’s more than I’ve been making these years at Sobeys and I can live on it easily.

I’m working all weekend and I haven’t been this happy going into work in forever. Today I have my favourite shift: 10:00 to 3:00 and tomorrow 9:00 to 3:00. No cleaning floors!

I’m so freaking happy today! I love Canada!


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “psst, or any other attention-getting noise or word.” Find a word or noise that you’d use to get someone’s attention, and start your post off with it. Enjoy!

I’m 65!

65Yahoo! I made it! I’m 65 years old today!

Last night I worked; got a cupcake and sung Happy Birthday to.  After 4 years they still don’t know that I don’t eat eggs and so don’t eat cupcakes. 002

Thanks, guys, but I’m looking more forward to the cheese bread than a soggy cupcake.

I’m off today; going to stay warm and cozy and have lots of good treats. There is one job I want to do, cover the living room windows with plastic. They are very drafty and it makes huge difference. I’ll check Facebook every once in a while for HB’s.

Tomorrow my sister is taking me to TOWN to do some shopping while my car gets ‘fixed’ and I’ll come home with some take-out Indian food. Too bad the car repair has put a damper on my shopping spree.

Working all weekend which is OK…… I still need that money! I get my first OAP cheque next month…… oh, boy, I love Canada! (Even with its strict emissions rules.)

Hopefully I won’t get caught driving without stickers. They shouldn’t bother until the end of the month. Another e-test Monday and new stickers, I hope.  I’ll have on my snow tires and be ready for winter!

Well, time to go enjoy my day. I honestly wouldn’t want to be doing anything else!

Honk! Honk!

Honk! Honk!  My post about my car didn’t make it into the reader yesterday. I even tried publishing it twice.  The link worked but I guess no one wanted to read about my car repairs….. imagine that!

It’s going to cost me a whole lot of money to give me the right to honk my horn. I don’t even need a repair…. my car failed the emissions test so I have to get a new exhaust system. It make me sick.  If I lived a down the road, across a bridge, I would not have to have an e-test and would not need an expensive ‘repair’.

Of course I tossed and turned and thought about if I should stay on my job another year but I just can’t….. the thought of it is just too depressing. I thank God I’m in the position that I can quit. I’ll have very little money but I’m sure I can make it. I can even chip away at this ‘repair’ on my credit card.

Whenever you are looking forward to something, life sneaks up behind you and kicks you in the ass.