SoCS: carefully

Carefully, I wrote to my friend who wants to come and stay with me for another 5 days. It wasn’t that long ago she was here for 5 days and that was too long.

We had not seen each other for 50 years. Yes, since the year of Woodstock. So it was great getting together but too long. I’m an extreme introvert and she’s an extreme extrovert. I guess time has made us what we are today in comparison to being 10-15 years old.

The talking wore me down after two days. I wrote a post about it and I don’t want to go over that again.  https://monicleblog.wordpress.com/2019/04/13/socs-the-flip-side/

A week ago she asked, no; not asked, told me she was coming for 5 days. I didn’t say no.  Yesterday she started to think she had too much going on to come when she first planned.  She said, “That would give me only two non-driving days and that’s not enough.” Then she said it; “What do you think?”

Now I am very honest to the point of blurting out things that offend people. She asked me what I thought . . . I thought about posting a meme on Facebook about guests and fish . Hasn’t she heard that one?

Carefully, I wrote to my friend.  “Two days is not enough for you: five days is too much for me. The ball is in your court.”

 

(FYI: I did not send her this)

 

 

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “adverb.” Start your post with any adverb and just run with it.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-18-19/

RDP: plangent

Of course I had to look up what plangent meant. Thought immediately of this classic skit from SNL:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/05/06/rdp-monday-plangent/

SoCS: water

There is too much water falling from the sky. Massive flooding in so many places. My yard is like a giant wet sponge: step on it and your foot sinks into a puddle.

Climate change is happening faster than ever and now Russia and China are all set to destroy the artic with oil exploration. They are still pushing for more oil sands in Alberta, ruining the forests. Then they need more pipelines, of course, to transport that oil.

I really wonder if we can turn this around; I have my doubts.

Is there really no more spellcheck?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “fall from the sky.” Write about anything that falls from the sky–real, imagined, or idiomatic.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/05/03/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-4-19/

SoCS: expectations

I recently had the experience of finding out how middle class I am. Working with young women in poverty we were taught at a seminar how we don’t understand why the poor do what they do. “Why don’t they just go get a job?” for instance.

I have been paired with a young woman with whom I will be a mentor, of sorts. Our group meets once a week for dinner and discussions but once a month the ‘leader’ (that’s the person ‘leading their family out of poverty) has to contact their ‘ally’ (that’s me) and make an appointment to meet somewhere else.

My girl had been missing from the group for 3 weeks so I hadn’t met her. She was supposed to get in touch to meet with me: I was expecting to hear from her and set up a meeting. She texted me and set up a time, then shortly before our meeting she said didn’t feel well and wanted to re-schedule. I said ‘ yes, how about tomorrow?”

She did not write back to schedule that day or the next until late afternoon when she wrote ‘she was ready now’. I was already very irritated after looking for her text for two days wondering what the hell she’s doing. It was really bugging me;  I wrote back I had been waiting for two days and I’m not coming into town on such short notice. She said let’s meet the next day, I said OK: never heard back.

I was pissed off. I had a little speech ready for her on how relationships of trust are built on honesty and integrity. . . but then I met her at the next weeks group meeting. She was late because she walked across town with a stroller and two terrible children. They are so badly behaved and walk all over her. She is beaten down, depressed and over-whelmed. She hardly has a voice.

She was responding the way she had been taught; just tell the person what they want to hear or don’t respond at all. That gets you through that uncomfortable moment. You don’t think of future repercussions; its a life of damage control. I realized I had the typical middle-class reaction: “why won’t she write back and make that commitment?”

I’m no expert in psychology so I’m taking this very slow; one step at a time. From now on when she sets a date then cancels, her session has expired. I do have to explain how important honestly is; she is so used to bullshitting, she has never been taught any other way.

We, middle class people, don’t realize how much we were taught by our parents example: they set their alarms and went off to work everyday whether they wanted to or not. We had meals everyday at the same times.  We have expectations that we can work and succeed in life; we can ‘get ahead’.  In poverty you don’t consider the future; you just get through today the best way you know how. They can’t see their future being any different from today. They have very low expectations.

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Am I losing my marbles or is there no spell check here today? You may find some mistakes. Don’t expect it to be perfect!

 

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “xp.” Use it as a word, or find a word with “xp”in it. As always, use any way you’d like.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-27-19/

SoCS: ribs

Oh oh, ribs . .  here we go:

I shudder to think of rib-fests. I don’t usually bug people about eating meat but this is a prompt so I’ll say it . . . gross! Slabs and slabs of ribs piled up, thousands of beasts slaughtered for the ritual: people savagely ripping the meat off the bones in a gluttonous orgy, piles of bones stacking up . . . The horror, THE HORROR!!

I used to love them. Now I know it was the BBQ sauce and the texture that is so pleasing. And I guess the primal act of eating the meat off the bones with your hands is part of it.

Until one day, it may happen to you, you’re looking at somebody’s bone. You can see where it’s sawed. You look at a rack of ribs on a BBQ and see a part of an animal.

OK maybe it won’t happen to you but it happened to me. I would never usually talk about this but you don’t know me so tough titties . . . I’ll say it: eating meat is gross. I wouldn’t rib you about a thing like this!

I get it. I would love to have a BBQ rib meatless knock off. In fact I did try one;

Yuck: terrible. Literally tofu in crappy BBQ sauce. I could do much better myself with tempeh and my own BBQ sauce. Perhaps use strips of fake chicken. That’s if I ever get the hankering for that.

I’m not pristine; I’m not vegan. I might use paneer but it doesn’t have that stringy texture that we remember so well, you know, that “fall off the bone” sensation.  Ha! I’m ribbing you. That’s means I’ll pretend it’s a joke but it’s really true.

My elbow to your ribs.

I got ribs,

you got ribs,

all God’s children got ribs!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “rib.” Use it as a word, or find a word with “rib”in it. As always, use any way you’d like.

 

https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-20-19/

SoCS: the flip side

My life was flipped upside down last week. I went from being a lonesome hermit to a hostess and gad-about-town gal.

It started when a friend I re-connected on Facebook with wanted to visit. I had told her I was free from the 5th to the 10th thinking she would pick two or three days out of that time. She assumed I meant come for all of that time so I didn’t say otherwise.

My sister was having my grandnephew for the weekend but she already had someone staying in her guest room so she asked if she and my grandnephew could stay at my place. I wanted to see him, too, and thought it would be fun to have them stay here. A lot of people, I know, but I can do this, I thought.

It was fun. . . (see that punctuation, Laura?) We went bowling, watched cartoons, hung out . . .

There were a few hours between when they left and my old friend showed up. It had been 50 years since we’ve seen each other. We talked and talked and talked. . . she is an extrovert, a singer, a witch (Wiccan) and very loud and dramatic. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but I got worn down.

I was really struggling second day in. She slept in very late so I at least had most of my morning in silence.  I wrote to my sister telling her of my struggle and said I’m trying, I’m trying …… then I sent it to my friend who was here!

I saw it the next day when she was asleep and I went to my e-mails, OH God I sent her a letter complaining about her! I felt like the smallest, shittiest person in the world.

When she got up I got on my knees and said I did a horrible thing. She needed to go in the bathroom first then came out and said, “its OK if you smoked my pot”

“oh no, it’s so much worse”

Long story short; she was great about it and even laughed. She said it was a good lesson on how to treat an introvert. She wrote back, “Guilty as charged” and we are still writing.

Phew! I had a great time even though I was wearing thin; mustering up words to come out of my mouth. The day after she left (late afternoon) I taught my dance/exercise class and went to Circles. (Both my volunteer gigs are on Thursday) The girl I am paired with didn’t show up so I did child care; looking after a constipated baby.

Friday I had a doctor’s appointment; the last thing on this long week. I ran into a sick friend at the health centre; took her grocery shopping and then home to carry in her groceries. She was talking about stuff she’s told me before many times and I was dying to get home.

Sometime, in all this social flurry, I get a message on Facebook. It was from a native artist I met about 10 years ago and really liked but she moved to Manitoulin Island shortly after we met. She wrote me that she was back and living here now. Today would be a perfect day to invite her over but I just can’t. I cannot flap my lips one more day.

Today I don’t have to go anywhere or talk to anyone.  I am tired. I feel like I did edibles and ran a marathon. They say introverts need to be alone to re-charge and there could not be a better description.

The thing is, I really wanted to see all these people; I really love all these people! But why did they have to show up all at once?

 

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “lip.” Use it as a word, or find a word with “lip”in it. As always, use any way you’d like.

 

https://lindaghill.com/2019/04/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-13-19/

RDP: hungry

I am hungry for silence. I vant to be alone.

She’s sleeping now so I have some peaceful time but I have to wake her up soon.

A friend I haven’t seen in 50 years has come to visit me. We connected through Facebook, wrote back and forth all winter and now she’s visiting me! Its been really great to talk but….. it’s too much.  I am such a severe introvert and she is an extrovert.

She was going to go Thursday but the weather looks bad so she wants to stay until Friday.

Last Friday my sister and grandnephew came and stayed for the weekend. It was fun; we went bowling, played YardZee. They left Sunday morning and my visitor came Sunday afternoon.

I’m getting hungry to be alone. The rumblings are starting: yesterday I’m waiting and waiting to get outside and walk but I’m listening to the detailed account of a friend’s husband’s colonoscopy. I had to stop it and say ‘let’s go!’.

I realized yesterday she asks “why?” way more than my 6 yr. old grandnephew. Since I’m getting worn down, I now only answer, “because I want to”

I’m sorry to sound mean…. I am happy to see her. I just didn’t think it would be for so long. I’ve been living alone for 10 years and I really like it. I want to get up and have no one here.

Well, it’s time to wake her up. We are going to visit my sister today, thank God! A distraction.  Thank You for listening.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/09/rdp-tuesday-hungry/

SoCS: D’oh…

D’oh… I forgot to write the Saturday SoC blog post!

I have been very excited and happy. I may have talked about a new volunteer gig that came from a seminar I took called “Bridges Out of Poverty”. The program I was already volunteering in sent us to the seminar covering the cost for us.

Earlier this month we all met for the first time over dinner which volunteers make for us.  There are ‘leaders’: the young people who have been raised in poverty and have taken a course to get them in this program. They call them ‘leaders’ because they are leading their families out of poverty.  They are set up with ‘allies’ who are older people able to give them guidance and encouragement. Help them with things life throws at you.

Friday I was asked to be an ally. I knew this girl as a teenager and I knew her mom who died of a drug overdose just a few months ago. When I saw her at the first dinner I knew…… on Friday it was confirmed.

So Saturday morning I wrote to some friends because I was so excited and missed the SoCS.

This is truly an amazing program. The book that started it all is “Bridges Out of Poverty”.   Here in Canada its called “Circles”. In the USA the program is called ‘Bridges’. We meet once a week for dinner and it costs nothing; no dough. Just being there is great because the people you are with are all there because they want to help. You could volunteer just to cook and have dinner with everyone or babysit while leaders talk to their allies.

 

Woke up to snow this morning…… D’oh crap.

 

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “dough/d’oh.” Use one, use both, use ’em any way you like. Enjoy!

 

https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-30-19/

SoCS; electricity

Electricity. Like our health, we forget how important it is until we don’t have it. When our power goes at night I miss my TV so much. When you live with another person you can play a game or…. do something else. But living alone…. OMG how long can you read or do a crossword with a little tiny light?

Luckily, I have a wood stove. How fast does a place get cold when the furnace shuts off? FAST! I would have to sleep on my couch in a sleeping bag because my bedroom stays so cold all day that I need an electric blanket to warm it up. Without an electric blanket, I couldn’t get in that bed.

I often compare electricity to God. You can’t see electricity but you can sure see the effects of it. Luckily we all believe in electricity so it works.

I remember being very young and looking at the empty socket in a string of Christmas lights….. so I stuck my finger in it. Holy Moly, I’ll never forget what that feels like.

My mother was severely electrocuted. We had steel cupboards, which was the newest thing back in the early ’60’s. One day my mom went to open the fridge while still holding a handle of the cupboard and made a connection. I remember coming home from school and our neighbour ran out to tell me my mom was at her place, resting on the couch, lucky to be alive. I think steel cupboards did not catch on for that very reason.

Yesterday I got my electric bill or ‘Hydro’ as we call it here; a throw back from when all our electricity came from Niagara Falls. Now it comes mainly from nuclear fusion (or something nuclear) but they are a lot of windmills around here because we are by Lake Huron.

Electricity…. I love it!

 

https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-23-19/

SoCS: a bash

Well now, I always knew the word ‘unabashedly’ so it stands to reason there would be an abash.  OOhhhh, according to the ABC check there isn’t but I cheated and looked it up in the dictionary.

Nah, I’m not going to use it. I’m no Charlotte Bronte; (“He had never blushed in his life; no humiliation could abash him.”) That was in my dictionary.

I would love to have a bash at my home. I have tried and failed. My friends all live far away. Sometimes we have a reunion and I’ve tried to have it here but apparently my place is too far away. They need to go the other way to Muskoka or stay in Toronto.

Its true; I do live in the land time forgot but you can make noise and party all night with no complaints. We even get fireworks happening on any given summer night.

I feel bad I’ve been neglecting my blog friends. Recently I found an old friend on Facebook and since then we have been writing almost everyday. It’s really cut into my writing time in the morning. And its given me someone to talk to besides you guys!

My exercise class was succesful and I started a new volunteer position in Circles. This is a program to help people who have been raised in poverty break the cycle. We met for dinner for the first time just to meet each other. “Wow” is all I can say right now. It was wonderful being in a room where everyone is there because they care about others and want to help.

I’ll write about it another day. I’ve already written to my friend this morning so now I want to get off this thing and get down to the sunny side of the house.

A little taste of spring today….. I am going out on the trail.

 

https://lindaghill.com/2019/03/08/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-9-19/