SoCS: stop yelling!

My inner voice, the monkey mind part, has been yelling and I can’t stop it. Oh, I can drown it out with music somewhat or try to repeat a mantra, maybe twice if I’m lucky. Sometimes even TV doesn’t drown it out and I have to run back what I’m watching.

I’ve complained about my neighbours before. I wish so much I could NOT think about them. I’m not just talking to myself, I’m hollering at them all the things I’d like to say to them.

There are the lazy young people in front of my house and their house is owned by the matriarch next door. My lot is behind both their houses.

I’ve been sitting here trying to think of how to explain it simply. I can’t. And I sure don’t want to sit here and write out the 12 year long details of why I feel this way today.

I spend so much time alone and Thursdays I get to be with people who make me feel good. We’ve had a heart-breaking death in the family; I’ve been struggling with depression.

So I come home Thursday feeling pretty good and there she is in my driveway with her dog, going for a walk. She never walks her dog. My first thought was, “she wants to know the details.” I’m already screaming “fucking, go away!” in my mind.

Yes, she wanted to know what happened to “the guy who used to be her neighbour”  then turned it immediately to ‘this is when her husband died two years ago’.  No ‘how’s your niece doing?’ or ‘how are you?’

Normally I could muster up some sympathy but this time I could not. I’ve been living here for 12 years, on my own, and the women in this neighbourhood have been awful to me. Those italics are what I yell at them.

The Celebration of Life for my niece’s husband was the day before my birthday. It was a very sad day. They knew I was home alone all day. This woman wrote on my Facebook Timeline; “have a great day, gf!”

And what does my stupid monkey-mind do? “Girlfriend?” Seriously? I want to walk over there and yell at her, “I’m not your fucking girlfriend!”

I’m sorry for all this negativity; I’m fighting it with a beautiful Christmas tree and watching a lot of comedy. . .

Why did she have to be in my driveway on Thursday?  Damn!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “loud.” Find any word that means “loud,” and use it any way you’d like in your post.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/12/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-14-19/

SoCS: keys

I read an article recently (on Facebook so it must be true) that now thieves can replicate the sound of your remote lock for your car and open it. It says we should go back to using the key to lock the doors manually.

I tried to remember this on my recent Christmas shopping quest. But its hard to remember its so automatic. (ha, pun!) And its a hassle.  Go all away around your car and lock each one like the olden days.  Then I start thinking, “Well that’s just in big cities, not here in Strathroy.”

But I will lock the doors with the key manually next time. I need to move on to a bigger city where they have lots of stuff. I’m on the quest for a coin sorter. It has to be Canadian for Loonies, Two-nies and no pennies.

The key to enjoying Christmas is to stop buying so much crap. Draw names or just buy for the kids. Stop buying all that needless garbage that nobody wants. When we stopped buying gifts for each other, Christmas got so much easier, cheaper and way less stressful.

Hells Bells: I just went looking for a film clip from Harry and Tonto (I’m sure that’s the movie) where he picks up a couple of hitch-hikers and a woman goes on and on about how much crap there is in the world. More and more crap; everywhere, crap. But I couldn’t find it and I’m losing Stream of Consciousness momentum.

One of my key ways to enjoy Christmas is to go through ‘all the hassle’ of getting a real tree. I bought it on Monday and it was outside in its netting until yesterday.

I moved some furniture and set it up; let it sit and unfurl all night. Straightened it a number of times because just a few degrees off drives me crazy. After much sweating and swearing and turning screws I finally stuck something under the tree stand itself. Perfect.

Today is Saturday: all that insanity out there in a shopping frenzy. I’m going to decorate my tree.

 

 

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “key.” Use it any way you’d like.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/12/06/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-7-19/

SoCS: shade

My house has fallen into shade for two months now. Along my driveway is a line of very old, tall cedars. The sun doesn’t make it above them all day then sets behind the house in front of me. Its dismal.

For now, around 1:00 p.m., there is a little tiny bit of sun in a space between two trees. But that’s going now, too.

That’s why I put up some Christmas lights outside already, just the white ones. In a week or two I’ll put up coloured lights and the star above my door. You have to light up the gloom!

********************************************************

Sometimes I compare ‘evil’ to shade: I don’t believe in Satan or a power of evil. There is only the light that is God. But there is something in between us and the Light that causes a shadow. That thing is ‘ego’ and we are the shadow.

There! I’ve answered the question of good vs. evil!  Now all you have to do is put aside your ego! Easy peasy!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “shade.” Use it any way you’d like.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-30-19/

SoCS: marketing dentistry

 

Went to my pile of flyers that get stacked until the day I put out my recyclables. Every Wednesday I get a roll of flyers stuffed into my mail box. I go through them, look at a few, pick out the good ones for starting fires then throw the rest on the stack.

The top flyer was a shiny, two page advertisement for Petrolia Dentistry. I’m so glad you had this prompt today because this is funny. Not funny ‘ha ha’ but funny like; holy moly, look at the advertising for these dentists.

‘Caring and Convenient Dentistry’ with a photo of a young mom and her daughter smiling, “you don’t have to go to a big city!”  “most insurance plans accepted!” etc.

Inside there is info on how to check yourself for problems such as #4- have your teeth suddenly become loose?”

Then next page has a recipe for Curried Butternut Squash Soup and a photo which I’m going to scan because it contains a pet peeve of mine. A good-looking almost elderly couple. I know they are not clients of Petrolia Dentistry and this photo is most likely used in many advertisements such as travel. Whenever there is advertising for seniors they are always a couple.  and they usually look just like this; (I’ll give you the whole page so you can get the recipe)

fake couple with photo-shopped teeth

 

ON the back is a photo of the 3 dentists with a little write-up on each one. “Call them today!” and, repeated; “Most Insurance Plans Accepted”

I already have a dentist I like and she’s much closer than Petrolia.

Thanks for a fun prompt, Linda!

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “flyer/ad.” Look at the latest ad you got in the mail (if it’s a store flyer, choose the product right in the middle of the page) or choose the next online ad you find, and theme your post on whatever the product is. Do not name the brand if you hate it, unless you add that it’s an opinion/review of the product in question. You don’t want to chance getting sued. Have fun!

https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/22/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-23-19/

SoCS: bad dream

Warning; this post is very sad. If you aren’t in the mood for sad then don’t read this. I wouldn’t write it normally but I need to speak it.

Every morning I hope I’m awakening from a bad dream but then I remember its true; Tyler is dead. He committed suicide. He was my nieces’ husband, my nephew-in-law and father to Will, 7 yrs. old.

This happened 10 days ago. That’s why I didn’t write last week. Too sad.

I’ve had a hard time because I have no one to talk to. Two friends have reached out with letters but they live far away. I’ve been alone with my thoughts for days and days.

I thought the celebration of life yesterday would help bring closure but it made me worse.

When I arrived Will was playing Crazy Eights with his uncle. I joined in to play because I would prefer that to talking to people. We played a few games then I mentioned we were going to start soon.

Will started looking around, like he was looking for someone. I asked him if he wanted to get his mom or anyone but he shook his head. He kept looking and looking at the entrance way. I didn’t get it yet.

Tyler’s sister spoke first, in tears, then my niece spoke. That’s when I saw Will waking towards us starting to cry; his face showed his pain. They took him to the washroom and he threw up.

It took me until I was lying in bed last night to make the connection. Will was waiting for his Dad to come in. He probably thought it was all a bad dream and now Tyler could came back. I think it was the first time he really understood that his dad was not coming back.

My nephew and his family took Will home with them.

I don’t know whether to share this with family or not. Why add more pain and hurt?

My nephew, Tyler’s mother and I all have something in common; we share a birthday and that is today. I can’t imagine Tyler’s mom’s pain.

I wish it was all a bad dream.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-16-19/

SoCS: nuts

My life is full of nuts; edible and human.

My ex-husband, who’s a nut, brought me a big bag of nuts; walnuts from Costco. They have the best walnuts because they are fresh. Walnuts go rancid very quickly so those little bags at the grocery store are already rancid.

I eat raw walnuts to boost my protein at breakfast and also because they are high in Omega 3 fatty acids. Recently I found chia seeds are really high in Omega fatty acids also but they aren’t nuts so they’re aren’t in this story.

One of the bins in my fridge is just for nuts and seeds.

My ex-husband is a nut and not in a good way. First of all, rejecting me as a wife proves it right there. So far he cannot find anyone who can put up with his nuttiness.

He collects things; he has 50+ salt lamps and I’m sure he will keep on buying more. He also buys rugs from somewhere in Toronto at a really good price.

Last spring he came with a beautiful salt lamp (I even posted it here) and two runners.  He visited me a couple of days ago and came with another salt lamp and two more, bigger, rugs.  They are beautiful but . . .  I don’t want them!

Yesterday, while I was dragging them around the house trying to find good spots for them, I was getting pissed off. Just give me the money you spent on them, damn it! Apparently the new hall runner is worth thousands of dollars but he only paid hundreds. It makes me want to sell them. I have a sagging deck that needs fixing and have to hire someone $$$; replacing it for a new one is more than I can afford.  I don’t need or want expensive rugs!

His house (which used to be my house) must be so weird but at least it has lots and lots of negative ions abounding. He can feel them. He doesn’t have any on-line or especially wireless anything. I hide my phone when he comes just to avoid scorn. He say he can feel wi-fi but doesn’t know I have it here and I’ll never tell him.

I’m glad when he leaves because he’s so intense and full of nutty opinions he wears me out. I can hardly get word in before he interrupts and talks me down. Then, after he goes, I feel sad. Sad for the husband he could be, but isn’t.

I must be nuts.

 

 

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “nuts.” Use it any way you’d like.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/11/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-nov-2-19/

RDP: flaky neighbours

You hit upon one of my pet peeves, something I just can’t tolerate and that’s flaky people. They will tell you whatever they think you want to hear at the time but its all bullshit. They are empty husks with no substance, easily blown away anyway the wind blows.

As an old friend said years ago; ‘there are invalids; those who can’t do things, and there are inVALids ; those who won’t do things.

So thank you, WordPress and RDP for letting me complain about my flaky neighbours:

They moved into the house in front of me: my driveway is a right-of-way through their place. They are both in their early 30’s and when they first moved in they said they were going to help me! I was so happy; young people to help me! He even had a chainsaw! I thought they would help me shovel the driveway in the winter!

As time went on it became apparent that they are very lazy. He had a local job but it was too hard on his back. He can’t get a job anywhere else because he doesn’t drive. He did work for the guy who put my bathtub in so I got to see first hand: the employer not only had to pick him up, he had to wake him up. He doesn’t work for anyone now.

She works and drives far to her job in London. This adds two hours to her work day so she likes him home because she doesn’t cook. She takes a lot of days off; at least once a week.

They seem to be in all weekend; every weekend. He plays video games. One beautiful day a couple of weeks ago; a Saturday, she posted on FB that she was binge watching wrestling. Yeah, not only was she watching wrestling on a gorgeous day on a weekend; she posted she was watching wrestling!

So many tales to tell but I’m already sick of talking about them. What did they do about shoveling our shared driveway in the winter?  She has a little spot right up by the road so she can just drive out. When the snow is light and easily moved, I shovel just to do something outdoors; exercise and fresh air. They do not even stick their heads out of the door. When the snow is heavy I have to hire someone to plow the whole drive way.

I repeat; they are in their 30’s. He has not done one job I’ve asked him to help me with.

Flaky.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/10/27/rdp-sunday-sub-flaky/

SoCS: dress

Beautiful photo!

The first thing I thought of for ‘dress’ was one of my favourite PJ Harvey songs; “Dress”. It pretty raucous and raw so I’ll save you from watching it if its too harsh and tell you why I like it so much. Its about a girl/woman who’s dressing up to attract a guy.

The best lines are; “I’m spilling over like a heavy loaded fruit tree” and, later, “I’m falling over like a dancing costume.” Love PJ Harvey.

Now actual dresses; I don’t wear them. This is mostly because my legs are not my best feature but also because I don’t like bare legs and breezes up my skirt unless it very, very hot outside. I just like my legs covered, that’s all. I do not feel comfortable in a dress.

I have a couple of dresses for special occasions like weddings but by the time I’m ready to wear a dress again its either gone out of style or the middle part is too tight.

I’m not dressed yet; still in my pjs and housecoat.

Today I’m going to try and finish off the pile of wood  that’s left in my driveway, if not I will definitely finish on Monday. Two dump truck loads of firewood I put away all by myself. My wood shed is full so I might have to pile some off to the side.

OK . . . get dressed.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-26-19/

SoCS: Oh, Happy Day

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “oh.” Use it as a word or find a word that starts with “oh.” Bonus points if you start and end with “oh.”

Oh man, (and I really do say that a lot) my company is gone! Yay!

Oh, thank goodness they could only fit in a short trip. At first they were coming Tuesday and staying until the weekend. Yikes!

Then they had something on Tuesday so they would come Wednesday then she said ‘sorry, they would have to leave Friday. . .’  Oh, yeah!

This time she was bringing her husband whom I had never met. I was hoping he slept in as late as she does because I only have one bathroom. I would be sharing a bathroom with a strange man.

He did sleep in pretty late the first day which was good but he next morning he got up at 9:30. Luckily I already had 2 coffees and 2 other things happening, oh no, don’t talk about that.

I had a good time! We had great talks. It went very, very well.

But, OH, .  . when I woke up this morning and realized they weren’t here I was so happy. And I don’t have to go anywhere.

Man, oh man . . . this is livin’.

Oh, yeah; We had a raging wind storm recently and I heard the crack of a huge tree then the fall. It was out at the corner of my property. But it couldn’t have fallen in a better place; right between my compost bin and my Ohio Buckeye.

Oh . . . and a REALLY good thing it didn’t fall on my medicinal herbs!!

https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-19-19/

SoCS: ground

I haven’t written a post in 2 weeks! I have to use ‘ground’:

The ground you walk on can be dangerous.

The last 5 Mondays I’ve been taking a course called ‘Boosting Balance and Bone Health’. It was run by an Occupational Therapist so there was a lot on how to make sure your home is safe.

You don’t think about these things when you are young. Is the ground I walk on safe? How about that towel on the bathroom floor instead of a no-slip bath mat. How about getting in and out of the bathtub? Wearing socks on a slippery floor?

I’m stacking firewood in my shed and there are all kinds of calamities waiting to happen! It has a sloping roof so there is a lot of bending over; bad for the osteoporosis spine. You must bend at the knees, keep your head up and back straight. No twisting while carrying an object; like a bit piece of firewood. How do you pick up a piece of wood from a pile and put it in the wheel barrow without twisting?

I was coming into the wood shed with a wheelbarrow load of wood when my foot got caught on a Virginia Creeper vine that was growing across the ground and I almost tripped. Nowadays, that’s a scary thing. I have to carry less load in the wheelbarrow because of the strain on my upper back.

One of these day I’ll have to give up firewood. That makes me sad.

I’m not sad my aunt passed away last week. What was sad was the last year of her life. I’m happy she has passed on to a better place. She is not buried in the ground; she was cremated. She is free!

OH gosh I have to run (no, don’t run its dangerous). I have to move into the kitchen; we are having our family Thanksgiving today.  Well, my family and some other extended family; its confusing.  I’m making apple crisp.

Last night I prepared the apples, added some Fruit Fresh and put them in the fridge. Put all the dry ingredients together except for the butter which is in the saucepan. Now I only have to bring them all together and bake. I always toss the apples with ground cardamom.

Nice day for a drive to St. Mary’s, a scenic town; the colours are changing. Life is good. On even ground.

https://lindaghill.com/2019/10/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-12-19/