Can I Get a Witness?

Once again I’m going to use the prompt to complain about my job. It’s hard and I want a witness! I want someone to look at what I’m doing and “wow! that’s a lot at your age.” I won’t be offended; I know I’m old.

Yesterday, when I went in at 5:00, my heart sunk. There was a lot of work still to be done preparing breads and buns for the next day and racks of baked cookies needing to go in containers. There was also a note asking me to cut petit cakes….. ha!

The two people on ‘breads’ both left at 5:00 and I was alone. It was very busy with customers as the traffic was jammed from the local theatre getting out and it was raining. People were running in from the rain, dodging the traffic jam and campers came in for something to do.

I don’t expect people to look behind me when they are getting their bread sliced and say, “oh gosh, look at all this work”  They don’t notice….. I wouldn’t. But I expected the owner/manager to notice. He didn’t even look my way. I was almost staring him down: he must have been avoiding my glare. “Look at all this work they left me, dammit!”

I worked like a crazy fool, packing cookies to empty the racks I needed to put the trays of frozen buns on, with no one to complain too. I’m muttering profanities under my breath then someone asks “Can you write on this cake?”  I smile and say, “I sure can!” I can do it all!

It was after 10:00 when I got out the hose to do the floors. Our new floor cleaning system is a huge industrial hose with cleanser that shoots out. We sweep first, then hose down the floor, brush it with a deck brush, then squeegee the water down the drains. It’s a lot of hard work and late at night….. I’m so f*#ing tired by then.

If any of you have battled with putting a garden hose back on its spool, then you can understand what’s its like to fight with a hose. This one is big and heavy and tucked into a corner beside the sink. It twists and turns like an angry snake.  Wrestling that thing back onto the spool takes the last bit of energy I can muster up.

No one sees me! I should drag that hose out to the store floor and start shooting people. Look at me! I’m an old lady doing this and I’m losing my mind!  Can I get a witness?

But it’s 10:50 p.m. Only a few customers and out of range. I wind up the hose and turn out the bakery lights. I did it all.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/witness/

Miniature Gardens

I’ve been thinking about doing one of those miniature fairy gardens. I have this stump;

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needs some attention; future site of a fairy’s home?

It once was a Corkscrew Hazel that got a disease, scale I think. A few weak branches came out his year but shriveled away before flowering. I’m hoping some shoots come up in the spring but even so, the stump is beautiful on its own. It’s time to weed it and I’ve got fairy gardens on my mind.

 

For instance;

fairy 2           fairy 1

fairy 3         fairy4

You get the idea. Trouble is, I’m not very good at stuff like this. A couple of weeks ago I wanted a fountain bird bath to also attract butterflies and bees. I sent away for a solar-powered water fountain and bought a plastic tub for two dollars. I filled it with glass stones and one big stone that was meant to act as a waterfall.  It started to pump as soon as the sun hit it but the fountain attachment was so high it send all the water outside the tub. I had to take it down to a dribbler with no fountain attachment and can’t get it to run over the stone.

I’ve spent hours fiddling with it, taking out and re-arranging the stones but it always looks like this;

 

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A nice addition to my herb garden but it doesn’t get many visitors.

I have Buddleia, summer phlox and other plants which I watered regularly during the drought to ensure those butterflies would flock over here. I’ve put out dishes with sponges and fruit peelings in bowls and get some visitors. But when an apple fell from my tree, rolled into the drivweay to rot in the sun,  there were butterflies all over it and lining up to wait for a turn.

 

The fairy garden would be a part of this little garden. There was an old slab of concrete from original house I’ve used for pots of herbs. Last year I aquired some used concrete slabs for a walkway and I’m still dressing them up. This little miniature area commands most of my gardening attention since it’s where I arrive home.

Because of this little spot, I know I could find happiness with only a little courtyard or balcony in the future.

 

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lower left is The Stump. Perfect place for a Fairy Garden

 

 

Here I go again….. fiddling around with a silly notion when there are 100 more important things to be done. (Not important enough, though.)

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/miniature/

Jeopardize

I could jeopardize my job by speaking my mind. If I jeopardize my job I will jeopardize my  income. If I jeopardize my income, well……. you all know what that means.

One year and three months before I can retire: not a good time to quit and look for another job. There aren’t many jobs around here off-season anyway.

My schedule last week and this week is made around my ex-co-workers days off so she doesn’t have to work with me. Two night shifts for two weeks.  I should see my boss when we cross shifts at 5:00 but he leaves early. I went in a bit early on Thursday and caught him leaving…. “oh… (flustered) I left you a list of things to do.”  Coward. I have a day-shift today because they are both off.

For two and half years I have tried really hard to do a good job and be a helpful, good partner. They called me on my days off, I went in. Called me in early, I went in. Stay late, I would stay late. I did everything to best of my ability and was totally dependable. I’ve never even been late!  Now I’m being taken off my good job and put on a more physical job with early mornings. I’m being punished for her poor behaviour.

The person responsible was given her second letter of warning about being a bitch at work. Three letters and you are fired. Now that I see how bad you have to be before you get written up, I think I have a long way to go. I think it could take me a year and three months to get three letters.

In my regular job I started at 10:00 a.m. so in the winter, the sun was up and the roads were plowed. If it was bad enough to stay home, it didn’t matter much if the cake person didn’t show. But the bread person has to be there early to get things out. I have a half hour drive on a bad highway in the winter. The person who got my job lives 5 minutes from the store and her Dad drives her in.

If it’s dark and snowy, I won’t drive in. People in town will have no problem getting to the store but it can be a hellish drive from here in the dark before my road is even plowed. I won’t do it, I will call in. I’m not risking my life for minimum wage.

I won’t drive fast if I think I’m going to be late. I wonder if I can be late….. I should try it.

If, on a day off, I get a phone call from work, I will look at call display, laugh and say “NFW”. They have made it so I don’t want to lift a finger to help them out.

Those two have made me so unhappy about my job and hating to go into work. What a rotten thing to do. I can’t jeopardize one years income to tell them what I really think of them and quit but I don’t have to worry about jeopardizing my work record. No worries about bad references for my next job.

I will still try and be nice and smiley, I won’t stoop to her level, but they lost the person that would always help them out. I feel a little freed by that!

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/jeopardize/

SoCS prompt; date

SoCS

So many people have told me I should computer date. It’s second to ‘you should have a pet.’  I’m not against computer dating, it’s just not for me. Vegetarian, don’t drink alcohol and I don’t like to chit-chat….. not a fun date. Sure, my profile might find another non-drinking, vegetarian who doesn’t like to talk but I really don’t care about what someone else does, they don’t have to be like me. But there has to be a connection that can only be made face to face, meeting in person. They could be the greatest match on earth ‘on paper’ but 5 minutes into meeting I’ll know I don’t want to be with that person. Then have to say ‘don’t ever call me’.

Or what if they start out good and eventually get invited to my house then a few months into it they turn bad and now he knows where I live……alone. My husband was a real charmer to other women. A lot of abusers start out being the man of your dreams only to turn into a nightmare.

This is not saying I wouldn’t go out on a date….. I’ve never been asked! Married for 28 years, you could say we had date nights but it’s been almost 10 years since I’ve been married and haven’t been on one date nor met anyone I’d like to date. I took some time to be alone and find myself and found I like my own company and house. I don’t want someone moving into my space but I would like a boyfriend to go out on dates with.

Someone who’s not going to be there in the morning.

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This is a special date night for all Canadians, the final show of the final tour of The Tragically Hip.  I’m going to an outdoor, big-screen showing by the lake with my sister. There’s a chance of thunderstorms ….. all that asking for rain but not tonight, please. A beautiful sunset on the lake behind us would be just right.

There are so many great songs but this one is my favourite;

 

https://lindaghill.com/2016/08/19/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-2016/

Going to the Beach

I haven’t written all week for two reasons. The work-place drama is continuing and I don’t want to dwell on it and the prompt never fits in with what I’m thinking about…… which is mostly the work-place drama.  This morning the prompt is ‘Eyes’ so I’m trying to think of something about eyes. Yesterday it was ‘Moon’.  Nope, nothing. It feels too much like chit-chat, unnecessary talking.

My mind has been on the people at work but I’ve had a few days off to get out of their world. Got my hair cut, oil changed, paid house insurance in full with money left over, did YouTube yoga, reminded myself a hundred times a day that I’m grateful for what I have and proud of how well I’ve done.

They gave my cake job to the good student and put me on breads. There I’ve said it, I don’t want to talk about it.

Today I’m going to the beach with my grandnieces and sister. Tomorrow night I’m going to a public big-screen viewing of Tragically Hip at an outdoor bandstand on the lake.

Maybe the Saturday Stream of Consciousness prompt tomorrow will get me going about work, but not today. Today I can push them out of my mind with love, joy and the beach!

 

 

Cash vs. Bakery

I really hated being on ‘cash’ at the grocery store I work in. A few months after they hired me for the bakery, they asked me to go ‘on cash’, too. My bakery boss would give me his hours first then ‘cash’ would fill in more hours.

At first I was happy. I didn’t have to wear a stupid hat and hairnet, could wear earrings that dangled, and maybe meet people (a guy, perhaps?). I soon discovered that being on cash is not a good job for an introvert. You are always ‘ON’…. “hello! how are you? Do you have your own bags? Will you do our survey? Do you have Air Miles?” and smile! It’s constant and fast moving. You have to talk A LOT!  All eyes are on you as they wait in line;  staring as if that will make you go faster. Go fast, don’t make any mistakes and don’t hold us up.

It’s awful!  It gave me such anxiety going in and being ON. When I made mistakes it would hold everything up while I called the supervisor to fix it; restless people clucking because you are holding them up one minute.

Not only that; there were so many cashiers, someone calls in ‘sick’ almost daily and they would call me on my day off “Can you come in today?”  I did learn to say ‘no’ after a while but it’s hard when I need the cash.

The first summer I thought I would lose my mind. I ended working so many days I was crying going into work. Too much at my age; some people can do it, I can’t. Especially going in on ‘cash’ days, my anxiety would be excruciating, my stomach in knots.

I did it because I need the cash. I can’t say ‘no’ when it’s an opportunity to make more money. I am cash-poor, meaning I own my house but have no income. I have to work and couldn’t turn it down.

Fortunately when our new manager took over, I was asked to choose what I wanted; ‘cash’ or ‘bakery’.  Bakery! was my immediate response. Get me back in the back where people don’t even see you unless they need something. I could do a jig in front of someone looking at cakes and they wouldn’t notice. The hat helps hide me …… I’m practically invisible!

And when I make a mistake, it’s cake, not cash. I used whipped icing instead of buttercream or I charged $64,000 for 3 croissants. (that really happened)

Last night I worked from 5:00 until 10:00 cleaning the bakery. Although going in is SO HARD, once I get going time passes quickly because I have so much to do. When I walk past the cashiers, standing and waiting late at night between customers, stifling yawns, the time dragging by so slowly, I don’t envy them, I can take physical work over that. Two are left on until 11:00 p.m.   Torture!

I wish I had a stack of cash so I could quit my job. Lately I’ve wanted to quit so badly. Then I look around and realize how many people feel that way. I think of the line; “living quiet lives of desperation”, working much longer hours than myself and having 20 or 30 more years to go. How many wish they could win the lottery and quit their job? Most of them.

I have only one year and four months to go before I can retire. How much cash do I need to get there? At least the end is in sight.

SoCS

 

https://lindaghill.com/2016/08/12/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1316/

The Seven Kingdoms

Last night I got obsessed with wanting a printable map of the Seven Kingdoms in Game of Thrones. I’ve been watching it on HBO and tried to study the moving map every week to see how the kingdoms were laid out.

This is a little obsession of mine, knowing where I am on a map. When my ex-husband and I travelled I kept the map close at hand and usually knew exactly where we were. I liked to follow it.

The other day I had to take a detour due to some bridge repairs and started hot-flashing when I realized I couldn’t see anymore detour signs. I knew where I was and the long way of getting there but I really wanted a map of those back roads to know exactly where I was. When I got home it was straight to Google maps to see the lay-out of the rural roads.

Last night it was a fictional map I was after. Game of Thrones is starting from the beginning on CTV which means commercials break it up so I’ve been taping it all week. I wanted a reference map so I could follow where everyone was this time.

There are a lot of maps of the Seven Kingdoms. Some people are far more obsessed than I am; there are some beautiful detailed maps. There are maps with the characters on the side with arrows pointing to where they are. Maps far too detailed to print out and still read the words and too colourful to waste the ink.

I spent a long time checking out maps but never did print one out. I finally put this one on my computer ‘desk-top’ then paused the show when a region was mentioned and ran back to look at the map. (I still have a big, old PC in a computer nook down the hall from my TV)

7 kingdoms

I’m trying to figure out where Daenarys is going and where she came from. What lands did she lose? The first time watching the show there was so much to learn, not having read the books, I could hardly keep track of anyone’s name. Now, the second time around, I want details.

This morning I looked all over for Dorne. There is a Sea of Dorne ……

I may need a more detailed map.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/obsessed/

Terror suspect killed in Strathroy

Today we discovered that no one is safe from terrorists. A while ago I wrote in a prompt that any nutcase could take up the banner of ISIL and kill as many people as they can.

https://monicleblog.wordpress.com/2016/07/07/hearts-of-darkness/

When I said it, I still felt safe living in Canada, in Southwestern Ontario away from any major city. Who would bomb anything around here?

But a 23 year old man named Aaron Driver from Strathroy, Ontario had been an ISIL supporter for a couple of years. He was known to authorities. Yesterday he was shot dead by police when he detonated one of two bombs he had planned on taking to Toronto.

We always think, ‘things like that can’t happen here’….. but they can.

Source: Terror suspect killed in Strathroy