My imagination is wild, taking off in directions I can hardly keep up with sometimes. Probably everyone imagines what they would do if they won a million dollars.  I would  bulldoze my house and start again. Or my neighbours and I can go in and all bulldoze our houses and make condos to keep one and rent out others in the summer for lots of money.

That’s normal imagining stuff. The bad habit of my imagination is having negative conversations with people who like to give me advice and/or poke fun at me. Oh, they are terrible!….. in my head. My ex was the worst! It took me years to get his criticism out of my head…. out of my…. own…. head!

I’ve had friends come and visit and be a little critical or just not supportive (enter giving me advice) and weeks later I’m still arguing in my head.

It was only a few years ago I realized they weren’t saying this to me, I was saying this to me. It was a revelation.

Not easy to stop, though. Now I’m trying not to dwell on the situation where I invited a bunch of people to start Game Night and no one is coming. I live in a neighbour hood of women who hang out together and have a bully/ring-leader they all obey. Six or seven years ago I kicked her out of my house and she’s still holding it against me! (LOL) Anyway, the point is…… I imagine them laughing at me that no one is coming to play games with me. I think they would rather laugh at me than with me.

I don’t want to stray off point here; sometimes what we worry about is just our own imagination.


SoCS: Door

My dentists’ office is in a tiny very old house that has been re-done but retains its old charm. When you walk in, the door hits a bell hanging overhead. There is little mud-room with a chair, coat hooks and boot mats where you are instructed to take off your boots. It has squeaky wooden floors and all the old trim. They just changed all the rooms to fit the dental equipment but it was not gutted to make a modern office.

She warned me a year ago that I was going to have problems but I put it off until there was a problem. I could feel something not right and it was Friday afternoon before a long weekend when I discovered a big lump in my gums above the tooth. I phoned Tuesday morning and got in Wednesday afternoon.

She took ex-rays and showed me how close it was to my sinus which will give the opportunity for more problems in the future. Not that it will happen but could happen.

So I’m on an anti-biotic for 10 days and have to be on them for 6 weeks after they extract the tooth. Yes, extract. Our health coverage does not extend to dental so a root canal is out of the question.

My last root canal was about 6 years ago and it was $700. On this last x-ray she pointed out that the tooth being pulled is next to the tooth that had root canal work and it has a cavity so I have to put even more money into that damn tooth.


Anyone following me who is wondering about Games Night at my house…… no one has walked through my doors. A big, fat disappointment.

It’s OK… like my ex used to say; “You sure can entertain yourself.”




Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “door.” Write about a door you walked through this week that wasn’t your own. Enjoy!

SoCS; his/hers

I’m drawing a blank on todays prompt; “his/her(s)”. There is no his/hers here; only me and mine. Sometimes this can be a problem.

When I was married, we fought. My husband was bully: I had to pick my battles and not argue over everything so something like buying a couch or painting a room a colour would start a fight. The battle would continue until a mutual agreement was met.

Now that everything is my own decision, it’s harder to reach a conclusion. For instance. some days I can stay home and do housework or not do housework or go to town or….. whatever.

I keep thinking about painting my bathroom which I want to do when you can open windows. Should I do it turquoise? white? blue? They all would be nice. I really would like faux marble but do I take that on myself when I’ve never done faux marble? Maybe.

When you have his opinion and her opinion you roll them around until a firm agreement is made.

When the sky is the limit there are too many possibilities.


Life in Retirement

What a beautiful day it was yesterday! Sunny and above freezing; I couldn’t wait to get out.

I had a doctor appointment merely to re-new a prescription and pick up a ‘poop-on-a-stick’ kit. That’s a colon cancer test you do at home and send samples through the mail. There was a student nurse who led me to the consultation room to go over how to do the kit. I told her I’d done it before but she asked if she could go over it again to practice.

We went over it step-by-step. When it came to the part of taking the samples, she suggested putting layers of toilet paper on the water to hold up the poop. Another method was to catch it in a margarine tub. I told her I used yet another method suggested to me by the last nurse; put plastic wrap across the bowl to catch the poop before it hits the water.

You then take a sample at each end of the poop with sticks provided and make a couple of little smear samples, for three days and send it off in the mail. It’s a whole kit to do this in a sanitary manner. She went over everything in painstaking detail.

The doctor came in, not my doctor who was away, a strange doctor. She said now that I was 65 I could get free shingles and pneumonia vaccines. She went all through my file and finally wrote out the prescription I came for.

I was ushered to another room and given the shots by the same student nurse. This was a learning experience so the regular nurse went over all the details of both vaccines, the needles and where to shoot them.  The student nurse then carefully gave me both shots while the other nurse printed up information about what they where injecting into my body.

Finally outside again! It was glorious! After a brutal 6 weeks of snow storms and darkness,  a warm AND sunny day! I’d been to town the day before to get groceries and supposedly to pick up my kit and get a renewal but they had wanted a consultation. I could go back home and maybe get out on the trail, check out the beach. Do something outside for sure!

I had some lunch and started to feel tired, way more tired than I should feel for just going to town. When I stood up and got woozy I decided to read the information she gave me. It was the pneumonia vaccine, ‘may make you tired and/or have a headache, may last two days’. Luckily, no headache.

Sitting in the sun on the couch, my eyes (and arms) were getting heavy. I laid down and shut my eyes and fell fast asleep.

Woke up groggy about 4:00. I still had to bring in firewood. Outside; it was so nice! I felt like I missed it!

Oh, well, having an afternoon nap in the sun on the couch is nothing to complain about. It’s one of the goals in my retirement.

Today is warm again but rainy. That’s OK, it will melt my driveway back down to the gravel.

I’m going to SuperStore (where, hopefully, they are marking down Valentines chocolate) then to my sister’s who has my grandnephew staying with her. Tonight is “Bingo and a Tune” on the local radio; something I started last week after I found an old radio I forgot about. I have ‘dabber’ on my shopping list. Tonight’s Jackpot is $2000.

Today’s prompt is ‘costume’ so there’s no way to link this. It’s just slice of life in retirement.


SoCS; tale/tail

Now I’ll have a tale to tell about the lost kitty who came to my house and lived with me for 6 days until I found her a home. But I’m not going to write about it here. As one of my Facebook friends commented, “Epic Saga!”

Relieved is too small a word for how I feel. After six days of living alone with the cat, we bonded somewhat. When I get a little tug of missing her, or imagine she’s missing me and wondering where I am,  I think of her getting some chicken or meat or canned food. Oh, she would be so happy.

Mary Lou wrote to me and told me she is making herself at home but is still not cuddling with her; she’ll be patient.  She is in the right home.

She’s going to keep her indoors and not let her out. That’s good because I could tell she was going into heat soon. Her tail was almost always fully splayed and straight up. (“Who’s She? the cat’s mother?” My grandma and mom used to say that. Mary Lou is keeping her indoors and the cat is going into heat.)

I wasn’t expecting anyone for Game Night. It snowed all day and was cold and blowy. No one would want to go out last night. Sure my neighbours could walk over but…..  if they wanted to, they would.

I see there is a movie out now called ‘Game Night’.  Oh great,  a little reminder, something to throw a little salt in the wounds.

But I haven’t given up yet. It’s not over until the fat lady sings.  What the hell made me write that? SoC.  There is a fat lady singing on my Game Night Playlist. Maybe that’s what happened.  I’ll see if there is a YouTube version.

Now its Shoveling Saturday.



I can cut stone with a pin!

A Home for the Kitty Today! (fingers crossed)

The kitty has found a home! Although, she is still here; the lady says she coming today. I just can’t shake the feeling that she’s going to write and change her mind. It’s almost too good to be true.

Monday afternoon I shoveled out the driveway manually. Tuesday morning I printed up some flyers and drove around putting them up on billboards.

The first stop I knew the girl working there and she tried to talk me into keeping it. I tried to tell her I did not want a cat in my house nor a predator in my yard. She kept coming back how easy they are to keep. When she said, “Just feed it cheap kibble”  I said, “I’m going to put up the poster now”

My sister is away so I’ve had no one to talk to. My only human contacts have told me to keep her. I got a message laughing, “At least you’re not bored”.

I’ve been in tears over this; I don’t want a cat in the house with me. My blood pressure is up, I’m not eating or sleeping properly.

I got the message yesterday morning. “Is the cat still available” “OH GOD YES!” I couldn’t type fast enough. I gave her my landline and she phoned me. She wants a cat so much! It was snowing heavily and she asked if she could come tomorrow (which is today) and I said “sure! no problem!”

The snow cleared up by noon and I went out to shovel…. again.

It was very light so it only took me about a half hour. I kept thinking, “OK. it’s cleared up you can come and get her!’  but she didn’t.

She friended me on Facebook so I had chance to see what she’s all about and it looks good. She’s my age, loves nature and kids. I saw one post on depression but hey… aren’t we all a little depressed this time of year?

I’ve been let down so many times I’m going around with my fingers crossed saying, “Please don’t let me down Mary Lou!” I half expect to get a message that she changed her mind or her husband won’t let her.

The kitty (no I won’t name her) is comfortable going in and out of the house now, knowing I’ll let her back in. So now she goes outside then comes in and uses the litter box. I can smell cat poop. My house is small and doesn’t have a basement. The litter box is under the laundry room tub which is the centre of my house, the only spot I could find for it. I do not want to live with this.

She wants out but she doesn’t want out, she just wants to look outside and it’s way too cold to hold the door open!

Some kernels of cat food are not as good so she spits them out onto the floor. My couch and rugs are all good for claw-sharpening.

yes, these are the things that are endearing if you love that cat but damned irritating if you don’t want the cat there in the first place. It’s cold now but soon she will be shedding.

Oh Please, please, Mary Lou…….. Don’t let me down!


Update: Mary Lou came and the kitty is gone to her new happy home!

Prompt; Permit

People should have to get a permit to own a pet. There are way too many irresponsible pet owners and way, WAY too many cats.

A stray cat came to my house and I’ve been caring for it to find an owner. I really do not want this cat; I hoping beyond hope I can find her a home.

I’ve been posting on Facebook everyday to keep it going, to please help me find a home….  One of my neighbours responded; “Just keep her until it gets warm then she can become the neighbourhood stray.”

My eyes crossed, my blood boiled, I imagined all the things I would write about how irresponsible, cruel and just plain stupid that is. I merely put on the ‘wow’ button.

Permit me to tell her off here; This cat is here because someone is irresponsible. I really don’t think she’s lost because every neighbour and all their neighbours beyond have been contacted. She’s on three local sites; buy’n’sell and lost pets. and people are sharing it. Anyone looking for her would have found me by now. I’m sure she’s been dropped off.

So I’ll just get her used to this house then toss her out. Let her have babies to make more and more stray cats.  Male cats will smell her pee and come around spraying. She will look for a safe place to have her babies…… it will be here, in my woodshed or under the porch.

Please look up on the internet; “Wild birds killed by domestic cats”.  Cats are predators. I love my wild birds and squirrels. They eat seeds. There is a murder of crows who knows who I am. I’ve seen a slow-moving possum eating the cracked corn the birds don’t want. In the spring there are snakes and moles and baby everything.  I won’t include raccoons here; I’ve had terrible experiences with raccoons from feeding stray cats outside!

OK, thanks, it helps to blow off a little steam. Not that I haven’t yelled it at her in my house. I’ll admit to double-barrelling third digits at my neighbours on a regular basis in the safety of my home (but I’m always polite when I see them).

It snowed all day Saturday and Sunday. It’s heavy wet snow that I can’t shovel. The guy that does my driveway is away.

It’s just me and the cat.

SoCS; Why Me?

I haven’t written or even read for a few days. Life just throws shit at you no matter how hard you try to make it good.

Thursday it finally stopped snowing after 2 days of flurries. I was shoveling off my porch when I heard a cat crying; it came out from under my porch after a little persuasion. It really wanted in the house.

Let me give a little background first; I’ve had 3 dogs that lived to old age and more cats that I could count or remember.  The illnesses, the expense ending with the heartache; I remember it well. I was a slave to animal food, fur and poop for years and years.  I left an old cat with my husband because she could not move and he loved her, too.  They all broke my heart and I decided when I moved here; no more pets. I do not want to do it anymore.

So this hungry, cold, scared young  (6- 8 months old) kitty wants in. I went over to my neighbours to see if she recognized her. She tried to follow me but her dog scared her off. I didn’t see her the rest of the day and hoped she found her way home.

She was out on my porch again at night. Luckily it was a mild night so I left her hoping beyond hope she would try to go home. I knew once I let her in that would be it. My heavy heart would not let me sleep that night worrying about her.

First light of dawn I looked out and she was crying at my front door again. It was cold and windy so I let her in. How could I not?

She was very hungry but yogurt was all this vegetarian could offer her. She was not happy with it and cried and cried. That was another reason I didn’t want pets, I did not want to buy animal food anymore.

I went out and bought animal food.

I posted notices yesterday to find the owner or a home for her and was checking Facebook hourly,  praying someone wants this cat. Somebody else on one of the sites found a box of abandoned kittens so it could be worse.

Last night was Game Night. I was hoping someone would come and play and take her home but no one came at all.

I didn’t buy a litter box; oh yuck I don’t want to do that anymore!!!!!! I’ve been taking her outside until she goes. Last night at dusk I had her out for last poops and heard my neighbours with some other neighbours, talking and laughing…….

My sister is in Cuba so I’ve had no one to talk to and she does not like cats. My only human contact was a neighbour’s boyfriend who said, “Ha! I guess you own a cat now.”

In other words……. I’m very depressed. Chest crushing, throat restricting, teary-eyed depressed.