SoCS: cozy

Its dark and stormy but I’m cozy in my home. It makes me feel even more cozy that I don’t have to go anywhere. I still think back to having to work in that grocery store; having to get dressed in the uniform and go out into florescent lights, irritating music and stupid customers.

Cozy is what I live and work for. Everything I do is so I can end my day on soft fuzzy wraps watching TV and I’m not ashamed of that. I still wonder at people who can’t take a day off without feeling guilty. Not me: I love it.

There’s nothing better than watching an old movie on a rainy afternoon. I have a few on my PVR ready for a day like today. Such a cozy feeling.

Yesterday and many days before I was still burning wood in my woodstove! For sure this the latest I’ve ever done that.  But it was cool enough that my furnace would come on all day and I don’t want to order more propane at $400 a shot. One or two pieces of wood warms the house for the whole day and keeps it dry and cozy.

I don’t like getting dressed up and going out: it’s so uncomfortable. So many times I’m lying cozily on my couch thinking; “If I was anywhere else I would be wishing I was right here.”

Comfortable and cozy.


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “rhymes with rosy.” Find a word that rhymes with “rosy” or use the word “rosy” and base your post on it.


RDP: regenerated.

Two weeks ago I experienced heartbreak and slumped into depression but now my happiness and contentment with my lot in life has been regenerated.

For those who follow me, you may have heard about one of my volunteer positions in a group called Circles. It helps those raised in poverty rise up and break self-defeating cycles. I was ‘paired’ with a young woman who has two children; a welfare mother. These woman are called ‘leaders’ as they are leading their children out of poverty. They are paired with middle class allies.

My leader didn’t show up for the first three Circles. I talked about her with another leader who I thought knew her better and might give me some insight.

When I finally met my leader my eyes were opened. She is depressed, (her mom died of a drug overdose last winter) and her kids are completely undisciplined. The three yr. old doesn’t have any words yet; he just grunts and hollers. She gives in. OMG I knew this was going to be hard.

Two weeks ago I was asked for an interview with the program leader. I thought it would be an update and advice, etc. I was handed a sheet of paper; the Ally Job Description.  When I was first interviewed, she read this to me but didn’t have copy. I guess we both forgot about it. There was something I had wrong and now I was being told “I wasn’t a good fit for the group.” I was asked to leave the Circle.

I thought confidences were within the Circle but I did not know you weren’t supposed talk about your leader with another leader. This happened 3 or 4 weeks earlier and no one spoke to me about it. I had written the program director twice in that time and had no reply. Apparently, she told me afterward, she was waiting to talk to her employer.

I sat with the job description in my hand and my mouth hanging open. It was fortunate we weren’t alone: The head of all the program directors was there and she really softened the blow. I’m sure it would have been worse without her there.

I held back my tears until I got to my car and cried for two days. It was just like falling in love, then breaking up and getting your heart broken.

Then I turned to the “I’m better off without him” phase.

One thing stands out: That was way beyond my pay grade!  In fact; my leader was way beyond my pay grade. I had already started worrying about her and trying to figure out what I could do to help her.  I was thinking of buying child car seats so I could pick her up.

Here’s an example of how hard this was going to be:  At my last Circles there was a guest speaker from the County who talked about a two- week program to help young people enter the work force.  It was set up like a job; 9-5, Monday to Friday and they get paid $15 an hour.  They learn to write resumes, learn about a wide variety of jobs from guest speakers, practice interviews. . . I know! Fantastic!

I said to my leader I would drive her to this if she wanted to do it. She said, “I’m not a morning person.”

Then there was going out for dinner every Thursday where I’m the only vegetarian and they make such a big deal about ‘finding me something to eat’ its ridiculous. Every week I would say; “There’s enough vegetables, carrot sticks and buns here for me.”  Now everyone can eat their meal in peace.

I started to think ahead to the winter; leaving in the dark and cold. How will my leader get there? She walks with a double stroller now. How will she get there in the winter?

So that’s how I’ve come to terms with it. Yes, it hurt. It was not my choice. But because of that choice I’m forced to go back to my happy, care-free existence, not worrying about her. Again; That was way beyond my pay grade!

I’m still doing Opening Doors and my exercise class.  I was assured they were “very happy with my work there.” That’s enough for me.

My happiness has regenerated!


SoCS: carefully


Carefully, I wrote to my friend who wants to come and stay with me for another 5 days. It wasn’t that long ago she was here for 5 days and that was too long.

We had not seen each other for 50 years. Yes, since the year of Woodstock. So it was great getting together but too long. I’m an extreme introvert and she’s an extreme extrovert. I guess time has made us what we are today in comparison to being 10-15 years old.

The talking wore me down after two days. I wrote a post about it and I don’t want to go over that again.

A week ago she asked, no; not asked, told me she was coming for 5 days. I didn’t say no.  Yesterday she started to think she had too much going on to come when she first planned.  She said, “That would give me only two non-driving days and that’s not enough.” Then she said it; “What do you think?”

Now I am very honest to the point of blurting out things that offend people. She asked me what I thought . . . I thought about posting a meme on Facebook about guests and fish . Hasn’t she heard that one?

Carefully, I wrote to my friend.  “Two days is not enough for you: five days is too much for me. The ball is in your court.”


(FYI: I did not send her this)




Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “adverb.” Start your post with any adverb and just run with it.

SoCS: water

There is too much water falling from the sky. Massive flooding in so many places. My yard is like a giant wet sponge: step on it and your foot sinks into a puddle.

Climate change is happening faster than ever and now Russia and China are all set to destroy the artic with oil exploration. They are still pushing for more oil sands in Alberta, ruining the forests. Then they need more pipelines, of course, to transport that oil.

I really wonder if we can turn this around; I have my doubts.


Is there really no more spellcheck?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “fall from the sky.” Write about anything that falls from the sky–real, imagined, or idiomatic.