I’m going to have to brush up my social skills; I’ve got company coming!
This may sound crazy considering the pandemic and all but we, in Ontario, are in Stage 3. Its allowed. I am letting 2 friends into my bubble.
I really mean it about brushing up on social skills. I’ve been more or less isolated for 5 months and I’m a little crazy. Its going to be strange to have people around and especially when she is an extreme extrovert! At least I don’t have to come up with things to talk about!
We both need it.
I need it because I need to be with friends to talk and laugh again. Friends who understand emotions and depression and accept me for who I am. That’s what I love about her; she accepts me warts and all. Her husband is a sweet, kind man and having him here is easier than being her total focus. He softens her. We all have good conversation.
They need it because they live in Toronto with their grown-up daughter, in a fairly small house in a densely populated city. She is was used to going out all the time to clubs and meetings; this has been hard for her. Going out in Toronto is stressful. They really need a safe place to get away, be out in nature and have some peace.
Its Saturday again. I’m only here on Saturdays anymore. I realized this morning I never came back to read others SoCS posts. Sorry! Was I too busy? I don’t even remember.
I fear I’m losing my marbles by being alone so much so I’ll talk about the pros and cons of living alone.
The best thing about it is obvious: I can do whatever I want. Eat whatever and whenever I want, watch whatever I want. . . you get the picture. Now that I’m retired and get a pension; I’m on Easy Street.
When I was married, I had to live in his world. I couldn’t do anything I wanted unless it was what he wanted to do, too. I had more freedom living with my parents as a teenager than I did with my husband. I couldn’t have imagined the freedom of having my own house and myown car and myown life choices. It’s wonderful!
Now mind you, I know not all husbands are like this; he was abusive. Some husbands actually want to make their wives happy! “Whatever makes you happy.” Some husbands say this! Wow! Life is a lot easier and more fun with 2 people pulling together. If I had my ‘druthers’ it would be a good mate. However, living alone is better than being with a bad mate.
Another good thing about living alone is that I can save money. In this pandemic I have grown my savings account to a place where I can plan on something, like a renovation or vacation. Well, not a great time for a vacation and lumber is hard to come by these days. In the meantime; I’m only buying groceries and have money left over at the end of the month. I’ve been very much aware of how much money I have spent in the past just because I needed to get out of the house. A trip into Town; a trip to Walmart. . . staying home has saved me money.
The cons of living alone; its lonely! I had ways to cope with it before this pandemic but I’ve been forced back into isolation. I can go days and days without talking to anyone. I can even go days without texting! I have been writing to couple of friends and started a Zoom Room on Sundays with a group of old friends.
I’ve had people say to me “you must be used to this” or even “you must like this.” I understand what they mean: I’ve always been somewhat of a hermit and I do know a lot of coping skills for depression and isolation but I don’t like it!
Another con about living alone is that everything is on me. Every chore inside and out, every bill, every car thing, every meal, every fucking thing. Then people, who have partners, come here and advise; ‘you should do this’ and ‘you should do that’. You should fuck off.
Sometimes living alone and getting old can be a little scary. I worry about doing things like getting on a ladder when no one is around. I know my eavestroughs need cleaning. I have one of those stupid adjustable ladders that are so damn heavy and I’m scared to go up that high alone.
I have not found a handyman I feel I can trust and its scary to hire someone unknown. Seeing some old lady living alone is mark for someone to take advantage of. Add a little here; draw out the labour: one job could wipe out my entire savings.
I’m sure there are people reading this who would do just about anything to get some time alone! I do have peace; constant pervasive peace.
oh look, a birdy splashing in the birdbath; have to go now; I’m busy.
Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “pro/con.” Talk about the pros and cons of anything.