SoCS: boo

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “boo.” Find a word with the letters “boo” in it or use “boo” as is and base your post on it. 

Boo. I don’t mean this as scary ‘boo’, I mean ‘boo’ as in ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, ‘shouldn’t be’ ‘thumbs down’. Also ‘boo hoo’ but that just sounds too sarcastic because I really am crying. I wasn’t even sure I was going to write today but ‘Boo’ got me started.

This morning I found out an old friend of mine who has ALS has elected assisted suicide on Nov. 4th. I don’t know if you are allowed to do that in other countries but Canada has been slowly sliding towards it. I won’t get into that subject because that certainly is not my ‘boo’. Its a good thing. My ‘boo’ is on how much life can suck.

This lady is a great person! So kind and giving. I had a very small wedding way up north where she lived and she insisted on buying me a wedding dress and organizing a wedding. She flew up another girlfriend from Toronto as a surprise.

She came to visit me here and was the most supportive person I have ever come across. She would tell me how great it was that I do all this on my own and how I pulled myself out of a terrible marriage and bought this house . . . etc. etc. That meant so much to me! I usually get advice on what I ‘should’ be doing and its usually from people who are a couple. It was so wonderful to hear someone say that!

Here’s my BOO and it might get nasty. Those rotting bastards who make everyone miserable, don’t look after themselves, let their homes rot rather than let anyone benefit from them; I hate them today. I hate so much that they will live on and get old. They will live on the worst food, let their bodies get dirty, live in squalor unless someone else cleans up after them and make everyone around them miserable. And they will get old. There are two of them on the periphery of my life. At times I pity them; today I hate them.

This beautiful, kind, generous woman with big family who loves her is going to die on Thursday in an assisted suicide.

The next day is the 2 year anniversary of another loved one who committed suicide but under very different circumstances.

So BOO! on life today and boo hoo because I want to do some crying.

SoCS: body part?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “body parts.” Pick a body part and talk about it. Make sure to leave a comment below or put a disclaimer at the top of your post if it’s NSFW! There are people who participate in SoCS and love to support others, but not every one will want to read about private parts. Have fun!

I had to google NSFW. At first I typed in NFSW which means “not for showing wife” which almost made sense but I checked and found NSFW means “not safe for work”.

Well, I’m sure as hell not going to talk about my private parts. EW!

Pick a body part. It doesn’t have to be my body part, it could be a body part everyone has. . .

Should it be my favourite body part? I kind of like them all as a collective and am extremely grateful mine all still work pretty good. I don’t know if I have a favourite. Certainly my legs are very useful to me right now as I’m moving wheelbarrow loads of firewood from my driveway over to my wood shed. And I guess my arms come in pretty handy for that, too.

But then the brain is pretty darn wonderful! What we can do with this spongy thing is amazing! We can talk about our hearts that feel love and pain but its really the brain that does all the work.

* * * * * * * * * . . .

Nah, I’ve been sitting here for long enough trying to think up a body part to write about. My stream has dried up. Now I want to go see what other people thought up!

SoCS: if

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “if.” Start your post with the word “If.” Enjoy!

If I could go back and have a do-over, what would I change? Would I change who my parents were; still traumatized by war and death?

Would I change having a big sister and choose to be the big sister? If I had brothers, would my life have been different? If my mom didn’t have MS, she certainly would have been a different person, a different mom.

If I had been raised differently I wouldn’t have picked my husband for a mate. If I had known abuse was more than being hit, if I had known I deserved better, if he had agreed to counselling. . . I might have had a happier life.

If, if, if . . . Hindsight is 20/20. All of those problems give us insight; we are supposed to get older and wiser. If we don’t learn from those mistakes then we will repeat them. And don’t bother trying to tell younger people what you’ve learned; they won’t listen. They have to grow up and make their own mistakes.

Now, if I had a million dollars . . . why waste good ‘ifs’ on the past? If I had a million dollars I would still live here. A million dollars isn’t what it used to be when buying a new house but it could do some great renovations! I might even bulldoze this and start fresh! OMG, I could bore you with a long list of what I would do if I had a million dollars!

If my life had gone differently I would be somebody else. Overcoming all those obstacles made me strong. I like who I’ve become. If I live longer I might even get wiser!

SoCS: lid

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “lid.” Use it in the literal sense, use it in the metaphorical sense, use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

Keep a lid on it! That’s what I’m telling myself getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Its Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend and I’m sure a lot of people could use this advice. Keep a lid on it and smile!

Actually I am grateful to have a family to go to on Thanksgiving. I didn’t have children and I’m single so my sister’s family is my family. I’m kind of like a satellite orbiting around them. I’m driving in their blind spot behind them, watching their lives. I watched them grow up to become adults and now watching them raise their kids.

Here’s my problem and I’m going to say it because this is my safe spot. I should have one place where I can say what I feel. I hold a lifetime of secrets and lies. I know too much. I will never be able tell my story because other people will look bad.

But I’m getting old and been ‘doing my work’, healing the wounds of my past.

I keep thinking of something an old friend used to say, “You can’t get 5 pounds of shit in a 2 pound bag!”

So I’m going to keep a lid on it this weekend and SMILE!!!

SoCS: expired

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “inspire/aspire/expire.” Use them in any form you like. Use one, use two or use them all if you want. If you use two, you get bonus points! If you use all three, Cheryl will put your next drink on David’s tab.

How do you go with stream-of-consciousness and think about using 3 different words?

My first thought was ‘expire’ because I have a favourite story I’ve told many, many times but the punch line is told with a Tennessee accent. Although I don’t aspire to be a great writer, I am inspired by books such as The Colour Purple to write in the accent. (ta-daa!)

I used to be a caver and did a lot of caving in TAG country. That’s Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia but mostly in Tennessee with our host, Mike Moser. He was indeed a ‘character’ as my mom would say; a unique and interesting individual with a heavy, southern accent.

He was relating a story in which someone on their trip died. He had fallen and suffered a concussion but didn’t realize it and tried to keep going. Unfortunately it caused him to have an aneurism. He was in small tunnel in which only one person at a time could crawl through on their belly and he died there. Not only that but the tunnel his body was in was the way back out. They were blocked in; hoping beyond hope he would ‘come to’.

Its a very tragic and scary story so it was hard to keep a concerned face when Mike said in a very solemn voice; “We was kickin’ ‘im but he’d expiiiiired.”

epilog; they managed to get a rope under his arms and pull him through so they could get out. Afterwards they were a part of a huge rescue to get his body out which involved rope work as they had descended in on rope. Cavers came from all over TAG and beyond to help in the rescue.

I hope no one has found this offensive.