SoCS: new/knew

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “new/knew.’” Use one, use both, use them any way you like. Bonus points if you use both.

Oh Yeah, New Year’s Eve. O boy. Another day that’s built up to be way too important, like Christmas, then turns out depressing for those who aren’t living the dream. And that’s probably more than half of everybody.

I am invited to another house tonight to play games. They live in a town about a half hours drive up the highway. The snow has completely melted already and its going to rain today. This morning its very foggy. Like all older people; I don’t like driving in the dark, especially when its wet and foggy. So no intoxicants at all. That’s easy for the people I’ll be with because they don’t need any alcohol and certainly wouldn’t smoke pot! And good for them. That would be great to not need anything. But I do.

Of course I accepted. And its because we all make such a big deal about New Year’s Eve. I’m invited because these people care that I’m ‘all alone at Christmas’ or ‘all alone on New Year’s Eve’. So then I feel like I shouldn’t say no. I even question myself; don’t you want to play games with other people? Of course I do!

But now the day is here. I knew I would feel this way. Should I push myself to do what I don’t really want to do? Because its New Year’s Eve? Because I should?

I don’t want to stay straight on New Years’ Eve. I don’t want to get dressed. I don’t want to leave my cozy home and go out on a wet night wondering if it will freeze or get foggy. And for those of you who live in towns, you don’t know how dark, DARK is! Add rain and fog to that and white-knuckle it all the way home. There aren’t even lights on my road. I’m familiar enough with the houses to know where I’m at. I have reflectors on my mail box that show me where my driveway is.

I already know what’s going to happen now. My sister will get this post in her e-mail, then offer to drive all the way down here and then drive me home again tonight. Yes, she will. So I might as tell her now, “NOooowhhaaa! I don’t want you to do that.” And she’ll read this then text me that she wants to. That’s my big sister.

Yeppers . . New Year’s Eve and I knew I would feel this way.


P.S. I was going to end it there but I thought you should know; I had a great day yesterday playing games with my grandnephew. He came here and we played Wii Fit games, played cards and back to Wii games. So I had FUN and don’t feel ‘all alone’.

SoCS: cozy

Oh yeah, that’s my word. That’s what I like most; to be cozy.

Especially last night; wowsa was that a storm!! The winds were roaring, the snow was blowing and the power kept going off and on again. I was sure we would lose it. At one point it clicked on and off 3 times in a row and that usually precedes an outage but luckily it came back on! Every time it went off I would think ‘this is it’ but it kept coming back on. PHEW!

I have a wood stove but kept my furnace going, too. I was trying to keep it as warm as possible thinking we would lose our power at any time. So I was very, very cozy!

The fire from the wood stove is the coziest. All the work I put into getting firewood and stacking it in the shed is so worth it! I do it exactly for that reason; to be cozy.

By evening the living room is nice and warm and I turn the thermostat down to 18C (64.4F). My bedroom is an addition off the end of the house so it gets cold quickly. But that’s OK because I pre-heat my bed with an electric blanket. When I get into bed its so damn cozy! Especially hearing the wind roar all around 3 walls!

So last night I was profusely thanking God or the Universe or my spiritual guides or whatever, just so darn GRATEFUL for my cozy home and bed. And electricity.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “cozy.’” Use it any way you like. Have fun! (And Merry Christmas if I don’t come back before then!)

SoCS: anyway

Well, I don’t have any good ideas yet but I’m going to start writing anyway. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do? Just let the babbling brook meander any way it wants to go?

Today I’m getting my car sprayed with oil underneath. For those of you in warmer climates you may not know we do this. When the roads are slippery, townships use salt on the roads which eats away at the metal and rusts cars. We get a very heavy oil sprayed under the car, inside the doors and anywhere the oil can keep out the salt from the brine they spray on the roads.

I haven’t done it in 2 years so its necessary that I get it done. Two years ago no one went anywhere anyway. I still had oily stains leaking out my doors so I didn’t do it. Last year I was very tight for money and once again, didn’t go out much. We were still advised to stay home as much as possible which is something I do all the time anyway.

It took 3 weeks to get this appointment which tells me a lot of people didn’t bother in the last 2 years. I have a 2010 Matrix that I love and I want it to last.

I haven’t had to worry about it yet because we don’t have any snow anyway! All these storms around us and south of us but here we only have a dusting of snow, not even enough to cover the grass.

I have Christmas lights and a Christmas tree even though no one can see my house from the road anyway and people rarely visit here (I could stick in another anyway here but I won’t) . I do it all anyway just for me. In this gloom it feels like its getting dark at 3:00. All the lights and decoration cheer me up. Don’t ever think “well, its only me so I won’t bother” Bother anyway and say “Its for ME!”

But we need snow. You know why snow is white? Because it reflects sunlight! Zillions of crystals reflecting sunlight! Who wouldn’t want that?

Anyway. . . I’m all out of anyways.

SoCS: addiction

our Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “dict.” Find a word that contains “dict” and use it in your post. 

In the past couple of months I’ve known two people who died from drug overdoses. Or I should say I know two people who lost their children to drug addiction.

The addictions caused by cocaine and heroin PALE in comparison to what the drug companies have unleased on our society and were so freely prescribed by doctors. These drugs change the brain and are next to impossible to get off of. One needs a whole lot of support from family and society and unfortunately, those who fall victim very rarely have any support.

I watched “Take Your Pills Xanax” on Netflix and was astounded at how many people are on drugs for depression and anxiety. And, again. how freely they are prescribed.

But what I want to talk about is cannabis. One might say don’t replace one drug with another. Well, I say ‘yes’. Here is a drug that has been used safely throughout history until the governments decided it should be lumped in with narcotics. It was considered medicine for centuries. It became a drug as dangerous as heroin in the public mind.

I’ve always loved smoking cannabis. During the years when it was illegal, I chided myself for being an addict. Something I had to hide and be afraid of being caught. Telling myself I’m not as good as other people because I “do drugs”. I quit for 12 years. And I missed it for 12 years. Never missed alcohol; always happy I gave that up early in life,

So I went back to smoking it and feeling guilty, like I was a degenerate while everyone else in the world raised their glasses.

But I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel bad that so many people were prescribed these drugs by their doctors and ended up even committing suicide! They are finding the first drugs they prescribed for depression actually gave people suicidal thoughts! And yet they kept prescribing it due to greed, lack of information or caring. But these drugs are from the doctor so they’re OK.

If you are lucky enough to be high on life then good for you! You are the very lucky minority. I envy you! And don’t start using anything except exercise to feel good.

I’m retired, I grow my own pot. I became somewhat of an expert growing pot back when it was illegal and the people I had to buy from drove me to quit! No one is adversely affected by my ‘addiction’. I have fun! I hear seniors complain all the time about insomnia and I have to bite my tongue. Meanwhile, I make a cannabis infused coconut oil. When I know my brain is chewing on something and won’t STFU, I take a spoon of that, have a wonderful sleep and still wake up at 6 (damn) 30 in the morning!

So I wonder; instead of making recovering addicts white-knuckle it through life, or put them on a pill they have to take everyday anyway, maybe they should take closer look at cannabis.

Side effects include; sleeping well, good appetite, contentment, love of nature. The stereotype is that we do nothing. Today I’m finishing up a sewing project and bringing in my Christmas tree. I woke up at 6 (damn) 30 and was excited about my day. And, hallelujah! we have sunshine today. Its been very gloomy lately.

Its time to remove the stigma that cannabis has had in the past. Take a closer look and listen to people trying to tell doctors it helps them!

SoCS: twin/tween

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “twin/tween.” Use, “twin” or “tween” any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use both. 

oh, oh, SpaghettiOs. An entire subject comes to mind but it’s personal and I don’t think I’m allowed to talk about it. Or let’s say I’m not comfortable going into the details of it.

Someone very near and dear to my heart is a tween but she may contain twins. Or she may decide to become ‘he’. Maybe she’s just exploring her options for a few years. Most confusing if she decides to become ‘they’.

I really wish they would come up with a new pronoun for someone ‘tween the 2 sexes. We had a workshop on this subject to teach us how to say the proper things and the speaker identified as ‘they’. But when we use ‘they’ we automatically think of 2 different people. Sometimes it sounds like a version of “Who’s on First?”

They said ____.

Who was with her?

No, them.

Yes, I know but who else?

They were by themselves, alone.

I guess it’s the idea of being ‘binery’? But they aren’t 2 people. They are still themselves. Although North American Indigenous have always called it 2 Spirited which is beautiful. And unique: they could tack it onto the long list of letters so hard remember and what if you leave someone out?

I think I better just keep my foot out of my mouth and stop this SoC.