Lately I’ve been a little bugged by the “I’m so blessed” conversation which is permission to brag but since the prompt today is ‘gratitude’ I must say, “My cup runneth over”.

In two months I retire. I don’t have a great pension but my wonderful government adds on an income supplement for those of us with no other pensions and little CPP. For that alone I’m so grateful. It’s not much but I can get by.

I own my house and have no debts. There’s been help along the way, which I’m so very grateful for. Ten years ago I left my decaying ‘dream’ home when my marriage fell apart. Since we had a business together, I lost my home, job and mate all in one day.

With him there was no hope of retirement. I would still be working everyday, while being nagged and yelled at, with no end in sight. Instead, I’m here, in my own home, retiring.

Another reason I am so grateful is good health. Sure, I eat healthy and exercise but that doesn’t mean I won’t get cancer, a stroke or a heart attack.

(phone rings, it’s Sobeys)

Funny how the younger people are sick on Sunday mornings so often. At first I asked what shift? Noon to 7:00. That’s breaking out the buns and bread for the next day (in and out of the freezer with heavy boxes) and closing (cleaning). I said no. I did it, I said no. I almost called them back and said OK but I wrestled myself down.

I’m so grateful to have a savings account, a warm, cozy home and can say no.

SoCS; which, witch, wich

Which grocery store should I go to today? The local Foodland which is only 11 minutes away? I’m due for trip to the Superstore, which is 40 minutes away, because I’m getting low on paneer but it’s Saturday and why would I go on a Saturday when I can go on Monday or Tuesday?

These are the kinds of serious decisions I’ll be making when I retire in two months!

One would think when you work in a grocery store you would have no need to go out for groceries on your day off. Not so; most work days I can’t wait to get the hell out of there. It’s good if you need something but walking around doing major grocery shopping after work is out of the question.

I have 5 days off! It’s slow now and our hours are stretched out so everyone gets a few shifts. Fine by me: I have one foot out the door anyway. My next shift is November 1st so October is behind me! woo hoo!

My cake counter part co-worker is kind of a bitch and looks very much like a witch so when she’s being a bitch, she’s a real witch. She was mean to me for a long time until I told her I smoked pot then everything was OK after that.

She visited me with her husband the other night and tried to talk me into staying on at my job. If anyone knows me, they know I really, really hate it when someone tries to talk me into something I don’t want to do.

She said (in a real know-it-all way), “We were talking at work and we think you’ll get bored and come back in a couple of months.”  Really? do ya now?

When I listed my reasons for leaving I was met with shaking heads. He said, “My uncle was a machinist and he got bored.”  Oh, well then….. you talked me into it. WTF?

That visit pretty much clinched my decision! Even in the event (which I’m really looking forward to) that I get bored, I sure as hell won’t think…… “I’ll go back to Sobey’s!”  I’m pretty sure I can find something better to do.

Like cook a delicious dinner with vegetables and paneer instead of having a cheese sandwich!


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “which/witch/wich.” Start your post with the word “which” and try to fit the word “witch” in somewhere if you can. Bonus points if you use a word that ends in “wich.” As an added rule this week, you will lose all the points you’ve ever earned if you type “which witch is which” anywhere in your post. Have fun!


Seasonal Living

When people ask me what I’m going to do when I’m retired my response is ‘it depends on the season’. My lifestyle changes along with the season.

Right now I’m all about firewood. There is a pile in my driveway delivered two weeks ago and I’m moving it into the woodshed on the other side of the house. It looks overwhelming but it’s really isn’t if you just chip away at it. I take three wheelbarrow loads and dump it into the woodshed then stack that. I can do that for about two or three hours.

The teacups above my cupboard get pushed back for boughs of autumn leaves. I have a string of LED lights up permanently for the teacups, autumn leaves then pine boughs later on. Christmas I add waving Santas and little snow-covered houses.

That’s when its time to get my Christmas tree. I have a tiny Suzuki hatchback and I must have a balsam tree because I keep the needles. Superstore has 5-6 foot Christmas trees that I can get in my car. I have to stuff it in so the top is beside me and the branches are over my shift stick. I laugh all the way home and hope someone sees me.

You must light up the gloom! It gets dark so early and the sun dips below a row of cedars lining my driveway for all of December and January. I go crazy decorating for Christmas but by Jan.1 it has to go. Decorations after Christmas are like a Walk of Shame.

January is bleak.

By the end of January the sun is starting to hit my couch bit by bit, a little more each day. Jigsaw puzzle season. With a movable table and board I can position myself to catch the rays.

But I like the snow (as long as I can stay home and work on a jigsaw puzzle) and like that the garden and shrubs beds are over and hidden away. That’s what makes spring so enjoyable….. watching it come back to life. It wouldn’t be the same to have it all year around.

Now summer is another story. I’ve been working summers for a few years watching my gardens and landscaping get worse and worse. I hope to change that this year.

I want to add that I live by myself and not many people come here. The decorating is all for my personal enjoyment and part of my seasonal lifestyle. It gives me something to look forward to.


The worst thing about SoC is going back and seeing all the ‘I’s. That’s what I do when I edit; try to cut out all the ‘I’s!


Release Me!

“Puleeeeze release me….. let me go…. for I don’t love you anymore.”

The pressure is on. I want to split up with my job: it’s making me unhappy but it’s hard when we have our good moments and maybe I should just try to make things work.

My plans have been to retire Dec. 31 but…..

Minimum wage is jumping from $11.40 to $14.00 on Jan. 1.

Now they are offering benefit packages for dental, glasses and insurances starting Jan. 1.  We have to pay but it’s still worth it.

Our newest staff member was once the supervisor for all Sobeys’ bakeries. She retired last year and got bored so she works a couple of days a week with us. A couple of days ago she took me aside and said that I should consider staying on because I was such an ‘asset to the company’ and not many people can decorate cakes. She said I have leverage and can ask for whatever time I want.

This is like Satan luring me in; flattering me, mixing truth with lies.

We are very slow right now, the lull between Thanksgiving and Christmas. When I went in she had already done my ‘dishes’ (funny they still call it that, there are no actual dishes) and taken the cardboard boxes away to be crushed. The counters were all cleared.

I had a cake order: a birthday cake for a two-year-old with a Halloween theme. I air-brushed it orange, trimmed and wrote in purple and put on some decorations: cartoony smiling Frankenstein, a witch and a couple of Jack O’lanterns.

I still had some time since they cleaned up so well (and both left early, yay) so I made up some different colours of buttercream for Halloween cakes. Orange, purple and a disgusting green.

Washed my own few dishes, sliced and bagged the breads in paper, barely had to touch the floors they were so clean. Drove home on dry roads into a breathtaking sunset.

See what I mean? Satan dressed up like a mom inviting you into her kitchen. If all shifts were like that I would most certainly stay on.

Then I remember winter driving and the Hell that summer is there. Being called in all the time because someone is sick or didn’t show up. I know I can say no but it feels shitty.

It’s like breaking up with a boyfriend who’s now being so loving and nice,  promising they’ll change and everything will be great in the future……… then in a few months everything is the same and you’re kicking yourself for being talked into staying.

“Pulleeeze release me, let me go for I don’t love you anymore. To waste our lives would be a sin: release me and let me live again.”

Risky Business

Watching The Deuce on HBO I can’t help thinking its a grown up version of Risky Business. James Franco is the perfect foil to the young, naïve goody two-shoes Tom Cruise. They both have captivating boyish smiles but there is so much more behind James Franco’s character, Vincent. While living and working amongst vice and greed, pimps, prostitutes and thugs, he manages to maintain his integrity and treats everyone with respect.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is certainly risky with her character, Candy. She bares all. No fake pumped up boobs here, they’re small and real. She takes some ugly pounding to tell the story of a hooker losing her youth and heartsick at what her life has become.

They are both incredibly good actors.

Today’s prompt is ‘risky’ and that’s what popped into my head last night watching The Deuce, “This is an adult ‘Risky Business’!”.

The second thing that popped into my head before I could even get the first pop written, was that wave of anxiety I get when I think quitting my job and living off of OAP. It’s risky but I’m doing it anyway. Worse comes to worse, I could go back; that would be ‘worst’. Maybe find summer work closer to home. with no polyester pants or stupid hat.

I hope I can get by on what I receive from the government. It’s risky but its a great relief to think I don’t have to drive in bad winter weather to clean the bakery at night. I won’t have to leave my cozy warm home, put on that horribly uncomfortable uniform, drive out to those fluorescent lights and mind-numbing music, clean stacks of trays and scrub the floors. Of course they are going to miss me…. they will have to do more closing shifts themselves!

A number of people have told me I will get bored and go back. HA! I can’t imagine having nothing better to do than be there. That’s just sad.

But, money aside, it is better than being a prostitute, although being a prostitute is riskier.

As promised

Yesterday I stuck my neck out and said I would post photos of the wedding and me with my co-workers. Me and my big mouth [keyboard]. But it serves a dual purpose as my e-mail would not send photos last night; they would go in the ‘Outbox’ and not send when prompted. I tried again this morning and now it won’t send anything at all!  Damn computers.

I am not photogenic.  I really hope that’s true.

019 You can probably guess which one is me; the baker is the bride, my co-worker is the maid of honour and the guy is my boss.

I really love this photo of the Bride with her four kids.


My boss was my date; I asked him because we both didn’t have dates. So I was a little disappointed when he wanted to leave before the dancing started. He ate a mountain of food then wanted to leave. It was a barn-theme wedding, very pretty but it was rainy and cool so very chilly.

oh yeah, the link to how I got my jacket back;

I have to work today; 10:00 to 4:00 but I’ll bet I can leave at 3:00. Hope so. I already can’t wait to get home.



All Dressed Up

Well, it’s finally happening…. I’m going somewhere! I’m getting dressed up as in wearing a dress and stockings. I’m going to a co-workers wedding today and my boss is my date. We’re meeting at the store.

I was very fortunate that my nephew’s wife lent me a great dress; not a goofy dress I wouldn’t wear but a cool funky dress. That was a great relief as I only had to buy stockings and a bra. The dress is made for cleavage so I guess I’m supposed to wear one of those bras that push your boobs up but instead I looked for one that came up high to hide my cleavage. Old lady cleavage is gross.

This was a good excuse to buy some boot/shoes I’ve wanted for a long time. They are even comfortable which is why I bought them. And red stockings, well, burgundy.

Got my cream-coloured biker jacket back from the girl who stole it. My other co-worker, who’s the matron of honour, will tell everyone the story of how I “ripped it off her back at the deli”. Her version makes me sound tough….. I like it.

Well, this is it…. no more procrastination. I have some things to do before getting ready. I’m feeling a little anxiety because I so rarely do anything social but that’s a good thing. Step out of my comfort zone and all that.


Well, I’m really going now…… I’ll post photos tomorrow along with the link to the story of how I got my jacket back.


Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “well.” Use it any way you like. Have fun!

An Ordinary Life

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything: the prompts have been too much of a stretch and I’ve been busy in between working. Some of its good busy, like having a new bathtub put in last week and going to my niece’s for Thanksgiving on Saturday.

I worked Sunday and Monday of the long weekend. Tuesday I went to The City to shop because I’m going to a wedding on Saturday. Luckily, my nephew’s wife lent me a great dress but I needed stockings and really wanted to buy some shoes now that I have a good excuse.

Yes, money has been pouring out of my savings account giving me waves of anxiety followed by hot flashes but I remind myself that’s what I’ve been saving for and I’m OK, I’m OK.

Work has been steady as two girls have left us so I’ve been getting 4 shifts a week, which is good, I need the money but I’m getting frazzled. I haven’t had a day to just stay home and relax in a couple of weeks.

To make things worse, they had on country music at work last night which is torture if you don’t like it. And I really don’t like it.


I read this then I’m a little embarrassed…… oh poor me.

So many people have lost everything and have nowhere to go to get shelter, water or food. Here at home so many people are leading “quiet lives of desperation”.  I complain my life is dull and uneventful but compared to others its peaceful and stress-free. I realize how lucky I am for my life to be so uneventful.

I saw Oprah on Ellen and she said something along those lines but she says it better. She said that our ordinary lives are our best lives. Everyone, everywhere in the world,  just wants to go home at the end of the day, eat a good meal, live in peace, not be sick…… ordinary life. That’s something we are fortunate to have.

So, everyone, I wish you a peaceful, ordinary life!

This is my dream come true;


Now when I’m working at night, scrubbing those floors, I remember my new tub and it makes it all worthwhile.

I promise I’ll never complain again.