SoCS: my rain hat

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “hat.” Use it literally or metaphorically.

Recently I lost a hat I’d had for about 20 years. It was black waterproof outer layer with a fleece lining. Perfect for spring and fall or even a not-too-cold snowy day: I wore it a lot. It kept the rain or snow off my glasses, it fit so perfectly on my head, wind could not blow it off. I got it at a store called Zellers which will bring a little nostalgia to Canadians. That’s how old it was.

Good Friday Easter weekend was cold and blustery. We had a family gathering and I already knew I was going to stay outside by the campfire. I put my hat in my carry bag in case it rained. Sometime I got something out of my bag and my hat escaped. I didn’t notice until I got home. My hat!! My beloved hat I’ve had for so long . . . NOOooo!!!

I texted my sister right away; “. . . my hat. . . !” She and my grandnephew looked everywhere. They went all around the neighbourhood. She posted it on Facebook in their neighbourhood group. No hat.

That week I had to go to the city for a bone density scan so I went on the look for another rain hat. I found one almost just like it at Winners! Black vinyl with fleece lining. It even looks nicer because its not a 20 year old hat. Only thing not quite the same as its a little looser and would blow off in the wind but that’s OK: I’ll hold onto it. It also doesn’t have BB cream on the headband. Its nice and clean and new.

Last week my sister found my old hat. It had blown to a spot where it wasn’t easily seen. Now I have a hat just for working in and a dressier rain hat!

Well, talk about stream of consciousness; I just got a text from my sister. My brother-in-law wants to come and dig up some ferns in the woods here and she will bring my hat!

But now we are having summer weather so I’m in a sun hat. Yesterday I smothered myself in sunscreen and took a very long walk on the beach in a sunsuit. I wore my sun hat which is even older than my old rain hat. Its the best and irreplaceable! Thin white cotton on top, sides are screen for ventilation, sweat band inside and it fits so perfectly the wind can’t blow it off. I’ve never found one as good as this one.

Well, that’s all I got about hats today. I’ll be wearing my sunhat soon. It also protects me from falling ticks. Found one crawling on my ear the other day. . . always wear a hat in the woods.

SoCS: what’s a row?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “a phrase you grew up with.” Include in your post a phrase your mom/dad/grandparent/sibling used all the time when you were growing up, or just write whatever inspires you based on that phrase.

My mom was from Yorkshire and my grandparents moved here to Canada because both their daughters married Canadians from the RCAF (Royal Canadian Air Force) after WW2. They had a lot of funny expressions and words but for some reason the one I remember still the most is the most puzzling.

If I would say “I’m hungry” my mom and/or grandma would say “And I’m angry and there’ll soon be a row” That’s not ‘row’ like a row of something lined up, its pronouncing like ‘cow’. I just looked it up in my Merriam Webster dictionary: its entry 6 of 6. ‘rau. “to engage in a row: have a quarrel”

I remember asking what a ‘row’ is and told it was a fight. It implied that saying I was hungry might start a fight or certainly make them angry. Could I get beat up for being hungry? Maybe its just an old fashioned way of saying you are hangry.

I was with my mom and my aunt at the airport in Toronto waiting for someone to fly in from England. I was an adolescent and they were both “in their Prrrrime” as they liked to say: rolling the ‘r’ like Maggie Smith in the “Prime of Jean Brody”, they loved that movie Their heads both turned slowly in unison watching a pilot walk by. When he was out of earshot my aunt said “Oooo, he’s got talent!”. They laughed and banged elbows and told me that’s what they used to say as they checked out the enlisted men at dances. Obviously they had a special place in their ‘hearts’ for pilots.

Its really great to remember them like that; in their Prrrrime.

OMG I found the perfect clip on YouTube!

SoCS: zip, zero, zilch

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zip, zero, zilch.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three.

Did my income taxes. It was the usual; “enter zero”. That’s where you do all the work to do what they already know. Back in the olden days we got two sheets; one to do in pencil and another for the good copy done in pen. That’s where we enter the numbers they already sent us and figure out what we owe . . . or not.

I used to get refunds when I was working. I would pay income tax but would get some return as I was always low income.

My sister just called me and I lost my stream of consciousness. Do I go back and read what I wrote? I started out with zip, zero, zilch. Now I have a bunch of people in my head.

Ok I read it again but it is no longer my stream of consciousness. My consciousness is moving outdoors: I have so many jobs I want to do outside but only have half as much energy as I need to do it all. After two or three hours my arms just give up on me. I start stumbling when I get that tired. I work until I have nothing left. zip, nada, zilch.

And that’s all I got left on this SoC: zip, zero, zilch.

SoCS: too/to/two

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “too/to/two.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Extra bonus points if you start your post with one.

To write or not to write; that is the question. Should I start writing when I have no idea what I’m writing about? That is stream of consciousness.

I was too busy this week. Everything scheduled for this month landed on the same 3 days. It was busier than I like to be but it turned out very good for getting back out into the world without anxiety.

Anxiety; I learned something from Brene Brown last week watching her special ‘Atlas of the Heart’. The series is about understanding your own feelings and how to communicate them to people so you can forge a deeper connection. Anyway, she said when you are anxious it feels the same way as being excited. So true! I had never thought of it that way.

I learned more than that but what stayed with me the most was ‘language’. She mentioned how important language is in communicating to each other and that language is cultural. For instance there was a discussion on how to translate ‘anguish’ into Spanish: there wasn’t a word. There were German words used where there is no word to translate into English.

A few years ago I attended a seminar called “Bridges Over Poverty” about the effects of generational poverty. There were statistics that children raised in poverty had only 30% of the words; the vocabulary of children raised in the upper class. If you don’t have the language to express your emotions and are not taught to express your emotions, then you can only act out in violence of some sort. The anger and frustration gets packed down until it explodes. Then the child is punished and the cycle continues.

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I started out telling you about my busy week but that came out of it instead! I don’t want to write two subjects: that would be too much. Ta-daaa!

SoCS: How?

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “how.” Use the word “how” in your post. Bonus points if you start your post with it. 

“How can people be so heartless?” Of course, a song usually comes to mind. Its one that has been in my head for a couple of weeks although I haven’t listened to it. Its from the musical Hair. I will find it and put it on the end of my SoC.

Its so hard to see the war going on and the atrocities. So hard to imagine this can still go on in this day and age. What’s worse is its becoming back page news as is goes on and on: as we get hardened to it. How can this happen? How can one man or even a handful of men have the whole world by the balls? How can they just lie about what they are doing? And how can we still let ourselves feel happy?

How can the rich be so greedy and feel proud of it? Luxury homes and luxury cars are in high demand. The big new homes built around here solely for B+Bs go for $10,000 a week, yes, a week, and they are filling up. Tiny cottages that middle class people could afford for a week are being torn down. There is no middle class anymore. There’s the haves and have-nots.

How can people keep up all their habits that make giant carbon footprints and then post on social media of how much they care about nature and the environment? People aren’t trying hard enough to change their ways. How can we stop buying all this shit? How can we “build our economy” and and stop buying so much shit? Crap coming over in huge barges, hundreds a day; half of it ending up in the landfill with packaging and things people decide they don’t really want. How long can this keep going on?

People aren’t changing. Money is more important. Bitcoin and all the internet crap, Twitter, tiktok. all suck energy. Needless, pointless drivel hour after hour. Keeping our minds in a false reality. A false construct. An illusion. But it sure works. We are just as much prey to propaganda as Russia but we are so subtle. We make good consumers. We consume goods like the Wendigo chewing off his own lips in hunger.

How can I sound like I’m in such a bad mood but still feel somewhat contented? Partly because this is the place I vent without bothering people. But also because I live in my own house in a peaceful place and I have my health. How could I ask for more? One thing: A good friend who lives close by would be really nice.

Well, now I remember why I haven’t listened to this song in a while. LOL! But great lyrics so I picked one with them written out.

SoCS: tip

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “tip.” Use it as a noun or a verb.

Tip of the iceberg. I use that expression a lot but I don’t feel like typing out something philosophical. We are all looking at each other’s ‘tips’, especially on Facebook! That image is enough. I’m not wordy today.

I think we did this prompt years ago because I remember leaving a tip so here it is again: when using cayenne pepper, pick it up with a fork. So much easier to get the right amount.

And that’s all I got today.

SoCS: Rope

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “rope.” Use it as a noun or a verb.

Two things popped into my head, I think the movie “Rope” was first. Great Alfred Hitchcock movie! All set in one room. Its based on the Leopold and Loeb.. . . the two guys that murdered just to see what it was like. One is a psychopath and the other slowly unravels. Jimmy Stewart is the guy that figures it all out. There’s a lot of smoking and drinking and when someone is leaving they say “Have one for the road!”

The other rope I think about is the one we are given as karma. We have a certain amount of free will in our white privileged society. If you are rich and beautiful, you can literally get away with murder. If you can do anything you want . . . what will you choose? If you are given this great bounty . . . what do you choose to do with it? We are given enough rope to hang ourselves with. . . if we choose.

SoCS: complain

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “comp.” Find a word that starts with or contains “comp” and use it in your post. 

Aw, sorry everyone; its ‘complain’. I know I complain a lot here but that’s what this blog is for now: to complain in anonymity. Perhaps that’s why I still don’t have many followers. I don’t really care about numbers; I just like this prompt for my weekly complaint.

I started this blog 10 years ago called “sixty, single and still surviving.” This year I turn 70; maybe I’ll change it to: “seventy and still complaining.”

My complaint today is most people’s complaint these days. Everything is so damned expensive! For those of us on Old Age Pension; its killer! The only thing I can do is stay home. After 2 years of living in isolation now I still have to stay home! I don’t want to use gas and I don’t want to burn propane when I’m out. I have a small amount of money left and we have a 5 week month.

My propane company makes me pay ahead. They call it COD however they usually have my money for several days before they deliver. The minimum order was $400. I sent an e-transfer on Sunday night to be sure she got it first thing Monday morning. Password: propane. Early Monday morning I got an email from the bank; McRoberts had accepted my money.

Tuesday night they hadn’t shown up yet. I’m running very low. I sent off an e-mail saying “I hope you realize the $400 you accepted with password ‘propane’ meant I’m ordering propane.”

Wednesday morning she called me: “The minimum order is now $500. Send me another $100 and I will put you on the list for delivery.” Seriously? She couldn’t have put me on the list for delivery then e-mailed me to send her another $100? Just wait for me to realize they aren’t coming? Unbelievable.

They came yesterday and what’s more unbelievable is how much propane I got for $500. 75% of one tank.

Luckily its been warm and I still have firewood but its still cold enough in the morning to use my furnace. As soon as it hits 20 C, its turned off for the rest of the day.

And then I do that thing, after I complain, when I remember what’s going on in Ukraine and I ashamed of my complaints. I think of the women with their kids; sleeping in subways, not knowing where to go. Its heartbreaking.

I remember that I own a house and only responsible for myself. I can’t imagine what young people with children are facing these days. Talk about the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer! Holy Shite! Rich homes and condos going in all around here in beach towns; bought for Airbnb’s. The people who lived in the old cottages and apartments above the stores are displaced and many are homeless. Many have to live in their cars so they can drive into town for their jobs, serving the rich. Its so disgusting.

I have this picture of Mr. Burns in my media library because that’s how I imagine McRobert Fuels to look like and I have complained about them so many times! But now it also looks like all those rich getting richer on the backs of the poor.

SoCS: trip

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “trip.” Use it any way you’d like.

I’m guessing Linda’s inspiration for this is because its the beginning of March Break in Canada and this year people can travel. Is anyone going on a trip? Many, many people. It was on the news last night, before the news on Ukraine. They were interviewing families at the airport and everyone said the same thing: “We haven’t been away in two years!” Even little kids, maybe 7 – 10 yrs old “I haven’t been away in two years!”

I don’t know how many years its been since I’ve been away. About 10 years ago we helped my aunt move her stuff up here from Florida but I was sick with a mystery illness and my aunt was in a constant tizzy so it wasn’t much fun.

I used to go on a lot of trips when I was married so its been at least 15 years. My married friends are planning their trips now. I hear “much needed getaway” a lot from a friend who writes often. She wants to come here again, after her trip to Cuba. She comes 2 or 3 times a year but I’ve never been invited to her place. I have been heavily hinting like; “yeah, it sure would be nice to go somewhere!”. I even said how great it would be to go to TO, eat in restaurants, go out! She said, “maybe next year”.

So I guess the best hope for me taking a trip is to drop acid!

Then there are the ‘tripping’ safety issues that come to mind. One of the things they recommend when you have osteoporosis to make sure you don’t have things that could cause you to trip. Like various throw rugs, runners and mule slippers: bad combination. I’ve had some close calls. . . “what a drag it is getting old.”

Well, that’s all I got about trips.

SoCS: way to go

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “way to go.” Use it as a phrase or use it in its literal sense. 

Funny, I saw the prompt this morning and thought I wasn’t going to do it. I’ve been down and didn’t want to write another bummer post. I was not inspired by ‘way to go’.

But I wrote to a friend about a story I saw about a Russian captured soldier. The Ukrainians gave him hot tea and let him call his mom on Facetime. He was in tears saying he didn’t want to be there and they did not know they were going to war. The Ukrainian people are now going to the convoy with megaphones telling the soldiers if they surrender they will be fed and housed. Then I wrote, without thinking about it; LOVE IS THE WAY TO GO.

So I guess I wrote it after all.