Pearly Whites

It used to be that getting your whites ‘whiter than white’ referred to your laundry; how to get those shirts glowing white. Now it’s teeth.

The other day a co-worker came over flashing her new smile and I had to blink a few times. My immediate reaction was to close my mouth fearing I had coffee-stained brown teeth.

It’s not just coffee but a lot of healthy things stain your teeth….. carrot juice, beets, wild grape jelly, herbal teas….they all can make your teeth look like you are a chain smoker. Whiter teeth look healthy just like a tan gives one a healthy-looking hue. They both give the illusion of healthiness.

This morning I read a post of a women who tried botox and her experience with face paralysis. Apparently drooling afterwards is a small price to pay.(and $500) She was in her 50’s and felt pressured to keep up as the late 20-year-olds were already doing it.

I can’t imagine starting that young to botox, having another 40 or 50 years ahead. They will have puffed up, numb faces and no way to turn back. It’s going to be a nightmare of self-made monsters.

And hair extensions; now you can have long luxurious hair for only hundreds or thousands of dollars, depending on how much ‘disposable income’ you have.

This is all so crazy.  One good thing about being 61 is that I don’t care anymore. I’m not going to use botox: I don’t even dye my hair anymore. But this teeth thing is a hard one.  I’ve been pricing teeth whitening kits and they are too expensive. And then I get mad that I’m even thinking of it!  Damn!

They are raising the bar too high! Stop the insanity!


9 thoughts on “Pearly Whites

  1. I’ve never worn make-up, had hair fiddling, been a fashion victim and I sure don’t plan to start at the age of 50. So yes, I’m overweight, loathe exercise and don’t follow the rules of how a woman should behave.. but it’s my life and until I can’t climb Glastonbury Torl, do my hour of brisk walking or do my daily chores and look after my family, society can do the other thing 😉

  2. I can’t imagine Botoxing at 20 either. Or having Botox parties. Or… Right now I’m too poor to be vain (and too depressed) but there IS something about having dingy teeth. Try a paste of hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. It’s affordable. Heh…and if you don’t like it for your teeth it’ll clean gunk off kitchenware too. 🙂

  3. Never had braces on my teeth, either…Somehow, God managed to keep my teeth straight enough not to be way out of line–they’re not perfect, but they’re not bad. I don’t drink coffee anymore, and I can’t take the acids in those “healthy” juices. So, my teeth stay pretty decent. Botox scares the living daylights out of me. I’ve had Bell’s palsy, and there is not enough money in the whole world that would persuade me to do botox…no way! I say I’ve earned my wrinkles and my right to show how life has chiseled some character into me. At 66 I’m grateful to God that I can still put two coherent thoughts together and one foot in front of the other… :-)!

  4. A few years ago, I gave up coloring my hair. Now at age 47 I have more white than brown. I love my pearly white head of hair. My teeth, look like I love coffee. I confess to altering the color of my toe nails.

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