Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “stick.” Use it as a noun or a verb; use it any way you’d like. Have fun!
Uh oh, I’m afraid the first thing that came into my head is ‘Stick it up . . . ‘ with an obscenity added to it. I think you can guess. It even sounds awful to me. I’m trying to keep those thoughts out of my head.
I did not see a therapist yet which, you can guess, I’m in real need of. I did get a call from one of the two social workers I will be talking to. There is a waiting list of poor people that need therapy so I’ll get which ever one can see me first.
She phoned this week “just checking in” and telling me I’m still on the waiting list. She said it might be “a while”. I told her I took a step back from my sister and her family and asked for some space until I can talk to someone. She thought that was a good idea.
But I sure was disappointed. I really need to talk to someone, a professional someone.
This is a long weekend here in Canada; Victoria Day weekend. Yes, we still celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday. This kicks off the summer: fun times with family and friends! Yeah! Good times.
I want that. I’ve wanted that for so long. I worked weekends most of my life and got really tired of working on long weekends. People would be making plans and ask me what I’m going for the long weekend; “working”. Farmer’s Market on Saturday. Sunday was ‘volunteer’. ha! then “Its a holiday Monday! Where are you? There’s so much work to be done!”
Well, now I’m retired. I have weekends off. I can get together with people and have fun times now. Can’t I? I’m trying!
I’ll tell you one good thing about this weekend. Back in the winter I had a tree trimmed so I could get my garden back that was getting too much shade. I am starting a new perennial butterfly garden. There is a whole swath of a planting bed I had covered in black plastic to kill the weeds. I’m looking for perennials that are drought resistant, hardy and attract butterflies.
Now when I wake up in the morning I can feel excited to work on my new garden: something to look forward to. I have that underlying feeling of amazement that whoever looks after me drew a line through time and got this garden started back in the winter. It strengthens my faith.
I trust my gut feelings. I trust my inner guidance. Crazy-making is now called gaslighting and its real! Don’t let anyone tell you what you KNOW you are experiencing is in your imagination.
Just say , “Stick it __ ____ ___!” Yeah, I’m CRAZY! Better keep away! I might just blow up for no apparent reason!
See what I mean? I need therapy.