Ameliorate; to make something, such as a problem, better, less painful, etc. To make better or more tolerable.
It’s a perfect prompt to tell my tale; I ameliorated my weekend and may have lost a couple of friends in the process. I cancelled a weekend that was looking not good for me although I probably did not ameliorate it for them.
It started out with a friend who had been here and said she wanted to bring another friend. This other friend told me there was another friend also wanted to visit. Then I suggested a little party.
The second friend said he was too busy and the original friend just stopped writing. The third friend wrote to book him into a local motel for 3 days. I haven’t talked more than a few words to this guy since I knew him 45 years ago. I quickly discovered his attitude towards women hasn’t changed one bit.
On the other hand; I have changed so much that he doesn’t even know who I am AND doesn’t seem to care.
It started with “how’s my little M____?” and signed ‘Big V’. I tried to ignore it but it continued. I would joke: “I’m not that little anymore” and “I’m much bigger than I appear”. He did not take the hint.
Then “M____ Baby” started. And very little discussion about what he had planned this weekend. We are totally different, totally different lifestyles and I do not know what he expects. For instance; when it was more people, I said they could cook meat outside but I don’t have a BBQ. Nothing. No word about if he’s going to do that or eat in restaurants or expects me to cook him vegetarian while he makes fun of it: his short e-mails were superficial and demeaning: subtle put-downs.
Still no word from my original ‘friend’. I would do this weekend if she came but her lack of response told me she probably will not.
I wrote a fairly long, newsy e-mail to the guy so I could politely inject, “please don’t call me Baby, I really don’t like it.”
He had already made fun of my long letters (trying to get some information) and said, “We’ll talk closer to when I’m coming.” instead of telling me a damn thing. This time he just responded, “Is that all you have to say?” making fun of my long letter.
I did not respond, I stewed over it for a couple of days. I tried to reach my first friend again, “Do you want to come or not?” No response.
The next morning I cancelled the guy. I also went to the motel and paid the fee they wanted for cancelling. He was terse; “please send me proof of cancellation” which I did.
He may be mad but I am so relieved that I ameliorated this weekend. If I lost any friends then they weren’t very good friends to begin with.