SoCS; Why Me?

I haven’t written or even read for a few days. Life just throws shit at you no matter how hard you try to make it good.

Thursday it finally stopped snowing after 2 days of flurries. I was shoveling off my porch when I heard a cat crying; it came out from under my porch after a little persuasion. It really wanted in the house.

Let me give a little background first; I’ve had 3 dogs that lived to old age and more cats that I could count or remember.  The illnesses, the expense ending with the heartache; I remember it well. I was a slave to animal food, fur and poop for years and years.  I left an old cat with my husband because she could not move and he loved her, too.  They all broke my heart and I decided when I moved here; no more pets. I do not want to do it anymore.

So this hungry, cold, scared young  (6- 8 months old) kitty wants in. I went over to my neighbours to see if she recognized her. She tried to follow me but her dog scared her off. I didn’t see her the rest of the day and hoped she found her way home.

She was out on my porch again at night. Luckily it was a mild night so I left her hoping beyond hope she would try to go home. I knew once I let her in that would be it. My heavy heart would not let me sleep that night worrying about her.

First light of dawn I looked out and she was crying at my front door again. It was cold and windy so I let her in. How could I not?

She was very hungry but yogurt was all this vegetarian could offer her. She was not happy with it and cried and cried. That was another reason I didn’t want pets, I did not want to buy animal food anymore.

I went out and bought animal food.

I posted notices yesterday to find the owner or a home for her and was checking Facebook hourly,  praying someone wants this cat. Somebody else on one of the sites found a box of abandoned kittens so it could be worse.

Last night was Game Night. I was hoping someone would come and play and take her home but no one came at all.

I didn’t buy a litter box; oh yuck I don’t want to do that anymore!!!!!! I’ve been taking her outside until she goes. Last night at dusk I had her out for last poops and heard my neighbours with some other neighbours, talking and laughing…….

My sister is in Cuba so I’ve had no one to talk to and she does not like cats. My only human contact was a neighbour’s boyfriend who said, “Ha! I guess you own a cat now.”

In other words……. I’m very depressed. Chest crushing, throat restricting, teary-eyed depressed.