The photo gallery at June’s funeral was just a blur yesterday.
I hadn’t cried for June before that. I felt very sad that someone only 54 should pass away so quickly but it didn’t make me cry…. until yesterday.
As soon as I drove up to the funeral home my chest started clenching up, walking into the reception my throat starts constricting and by the time I make to the family and June’s casket I’m full out in tears.
I introduced myself to her kids and husband, as we had never met, and apologized to June. I was so sorry she died. So sorry she wasn’t enjoying this beautiful day with her kids and grandkids. Sorry for her kids who expected many more years with Grandma. The grief in that room was overpowering.
There was a gallery of photos laid out showing her life filled with family, friends and laughter, proudly holding new grandchildren. But the faces were just a blur because I couldn’t blink away the tears.
My family doesn’t do open casket so I haven’t seen that for a long time and find it shocking. However, she was dressed in a sparkly purple dress, had long purple nails and lots of bling on. She would have loved it. We had only seen each other in the same uniform….. black pants, white shirt, apron and baseball cap. I was glad I got to see June as she would like to seen. And it also brought closure to that feeling of disbelief that she was gone.
Later, back at work, I couldn’t help thinking of June as I was going in and out of the freezer, doing the job she was just doing not that long ago. Its really hard get in and out with boxes of frozen dough; the cake racks in there make it so narrow you have to turn the boxes on their side. I would often say, “How does June do this?” It was only a few weeks ago I said that. Now she’s gone.
I’m happy to say my co-worker and my boss went to visitation the night before. He was away for the weekend, had already booked off before June died and she was working the bakery alone, in a tizzy. I walked into chaos. But at least we could talk about June and how “she was just here!”
One day her memory will be a blur, just as the memory of working at Sobeys will become a blur…… time marches on.