So today’s one word prompt is friend. I’m in one of those ‘trying to buoy myself up’ phases and was going to write the prompt “no matter what….” today because I haven’t written in so long. ‘Friend’….. it has to be friend… a sore spot in my life as I still haven’t made a good friend around here.
I do have friends, 71 friends to be exact. I keep in touch with many friends I’ve made over the years thanks to Facebook. There was a tight group of friends in Toronto when I was young: some of us moved to Vancouver, some moved there then went back to Toronto. Now we are spread out all over British Columbia and Ontario.
I moved to this area about 7 years ago and have had this job for 2 years. There are friends at work and friends at Zumba but I still haven’t met anyone who I really click with, someone who ‘gets’ me. Most people my age have so many friends, kids and grandkids they don’t have time for new friends.
Living alone and doing everything by yourself gets very tiring, especially if you have a house. There is more to do than I can do. Lately I haven’t been able to even get a day at home between doing favours for people and working. It’s too much. I drew the line when someone asked me go to this rural place to buy pies because store-bought pies weren’t good enough. I was cleaning the bakery that night; “Pies? you want pies? and not pies from here, of course…… you want good pies!”
Mind you, taking my grandnieces to see Zootopia and staying overnight was fun but it was exhausting. When I got home there was message on my machine that my aunt in the nursing home needs new shoes…… again. I had to work the next day.
I swore I would go after work last night but I was way too tired. My boss was cracking the whip, giving me those looks like I’m never doing the right thing. I stayed later than my shift to get the damn cream pies done. When I got home and out of that horrible uniform I flopped down on my couch and thought about how hungry I was.
And that’s the down side of living alone and having no friends. There is no one to help buoy you up. No one to come home to, tell about your rough day, sympathize and talk about something else. You are left alone with those little ‘ding-downs’ that run through your head, over and over, long after someone has unwittingly let it fly from their lips. Trying to get those voices out of your head and replace them with;
“Don’t be so hard on yourself!”
“You did fine/ great!”
“You’ve got a great life!”
You have to be your own best friend but sometimes it’s like pushing water uphill.
Today I go to the nursing home to see about my aunt’s feet but there are no shoe stores around here. It means a trip to TOWN. But not today. I could not face driving around a city looking for shoes today.
I’m working tomorrow and we are gearing up for the Easter eating frenzy. Not as crazy as the Christmas or Thanksgiving gluttonous eating frenzy but still pretty big. Buns, hot-crossed buns, Bunny cakes….. and make lots so we don’t run out and make people mad……. we can throw the extras out on Tuesday.
What was this about? oh yeah, friends. I wish I had some good friends around here. Friends that don’t want me to do them any favours.