Keep On Keeping On

What is the one thing that drives you to wake up in the morning and do whatever it is you do? Is it writing, family, friends, or something else entirely?

That’s a good question but it hits at the heart of what I get depressed about. It’s really hard to get up and go to work or try to keep up my home but I often think, “what am I doing this for?”  I don’t have kids, I don’t have any friends that live around here, writing is just someone to talk to……

I guess I still have hope. Hope that I might meet someone, either friend or lover. Hope that something good might show up in my life. Someone might say to me, “hey, do you want to do something?”

I do have a great sister who had kids, thank goodness. So I also have a niece, nephew, their spouses and their kids to bring some love into my life. When I finally left my abusive husband at 55 years old, I moved back into this area because my sister’s place was the only place I could go. I would be so much more depressed without them……. but they aren’t the reason I keep going.

I really thought I would meet more people and make friends by now. Unfortunately, I’ve met some real assholes: women who would rather feud and be bitches than be nice. I’d rather be alone than be criticized, used and let down. Men? haven’t met even one I’d be interested in. My uniform at work makes me invisible…… hair net and a baseball cap, only teenagers can look attractive in that.

When I got my job I really thought I would make new friends.  I’m friendly with many but don’t see anyone outside of work.  Everyone just assumes I have a life. My co-workers are catching on…… I’m never busy and can always cover other people’s shifts because they have lives.

So what drives me when I wake up in the morning? Nothing, to be quite honest. I do it because I have to get through another day. I push forward because I have to. But I still have hope that something or someone good might show up in my life.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Forward Drive.”