That’s how anxious people torture themselves; ‘I should……. [be perfect].
When I read this prompt; Tell us about something you know you should do . . . but don’t. a list of should’s scrolled down in my mind. They come easily because I repeat them everyday, maybe even several times a day.
I should quit eating so many snacks at night.
I should clean up the hidden piles.
I should eat more salad.
There’s more and worse but I wouldn’t tell you.
I fight against should! I fight against should because I had it shoved in my face for so many years the old ‘should’ voices still nag in the back of my mind.
When I find myself getting anxious about what I should be doing I stand up and tell myself, “I should be doing what ever the hell I want!”
(except eating too many snacks at night; I really should stop doing that)
Today’s Stream of Conciousness prompt is Vis.
It’s my delayed visit to my niece and grandnephew that I’m greatly disappointed about. I always end up working more than scheduled. The week before last, for instance, I started with only 5 hours on my schedule. I was mad! However, by the time the week ended I had 23.5 hours under my belt. Extra days, stay late, come early….. it adds up.
Last week I had four days off and really wanted to go see my niece in her new house which is a two-hour drive from here. My sister wrote she wanted to go first by herself. Ok, I was disappointed but I understand. I’ll wait a day then go myself. That day she asked me to join her and my grandniece at the beach. OK, I don’t get many days at the beach and I can go to Kincardine next week.
Yesterday my boss phoned: one of my co-workers quit and he was giving me more hours and days. When he said “Tuesday” I reminded him I had a root canal in London that day.
” aaargh!” he groaned. “That’s my day off. Can you work 7:00 to 10:00 In the morning before you go?”
“NO!…. I have to drive to downtown London and it’s going to be hours!”
“OK, I guess Heather will have to do cakes. So change your hours to 9:00 to 5:00 Monday and see if you can get all the cake orders done for Tuesday. Wednesday come in 9:00 to 5:00.”
Holy Crap. It all starts tonight; I’m going in 5:00 to 10:00 (although I’m pretty sure he’ll call and ask me to come in early) and working everyday, all day, except the day of my root canal.
By the time Thursday rolls around I will just want to stay home. Another week without visiting.