I’m Down

Yep, I’m in a slump. I was such a mess yesterday I didn’t even want to try Stream of Conciousness Saturday. I had a very bad night, Friday at work. My ‘work hangover’ was intense Saturday morning…. aching body, headache, anxiety and depression.

Last week and this week I have two four-hour shifts in the bakery at night. That’s it.  That’s $88 for the week. They hired a slew of new cashiers that are being trained so I have no hours on cash. In the bakery they have trained someone else to do my job and I get the teenagers cleaning shift. Not only that, the favourite teenager is now being trained and she’s getting day shifts. My boss and the other ‘cake’ person like the younger women better (as the whole world does) and they are making sure they are better.

I have four hours on the night shift and they have been throwing in cakes for me to do first before cleaning so I don’t have enough time to finish. It’s very frustrating because I take pride in doing my job right but I don’t have enough time.

On Friday my boss phoned and asked if I could come in early. “YES!”  I said and he laughed. I thought he was  giving me more time. He wanted me in two and half hours earlier which just gave me enough time to get ready and go.

There are a lot of new products I’m not familiar with because I’ve only been on nights. So he started showing me the new buns and breads that are brought out and prepared for baking the next morning. He was brusque, spoke very fast, and hated to repeat anything.  He left at 5:00 and gave me a list of stuff to do. It’s fairly new to me so finding things in the freezer is hard when I don’t know what the boxes look like. He said I should take my break from 6:00 to 6:30.  I finished the break-outs at 6:15 and took my break until 6:45.

There was a huge stack of trays and muffin tins in the sink. Empty buckets of icing and muffin mix, dried on because they didn’t bother to rinse them. There were so many empty cardboard boxes, many of them not broken down. After I’d taken a whole, stuffed cart to the compactor I found another stack piled up on top of a baking rack. (?)

There were breads to be sliced, buns and bagels to bag up…..  at 8:55, a concerned manager came by and asked how I was doing…. I had meltdown and started to cry.  They sent two young guys who helped me finish mopping the floor and cleaned the last counter while I bagged bagels. It makes me cry now just thinking about it.

I have no doubt my boss knows exactly what he is doing and hopes I’ll quit. He doesn’t have the least concern that I’m 62 years old and have to work like this, at night, while being treated like crap. It’s chest-crushing depressing.

Yesterday was a write-off. I felt like shit and didn’t want to do anything. Today I feel better physically because I had lots of rest but I’m very down.

I’ve got my paint samples on the wall……  I wish I had the paint here because I don’t feel like driving to Grand Bend. I struggle with depression and try very hard to do things to buoy me up. But this time I got knocked down and I just don’t feel like getting up.

Fortunately, I don’t have to. I’m in a peaceful, quiet place with all my favourite treats and lots of great stuff to watch on TV. I’m not at that crazy place on Mother’s Day, working.  HA! I’ve already made myself feel better…..  At least I’m not THERE!

001(top of line 4 is my pick.)

Quick Edit; I just found this clip to entertain myself with; Love Bogey!



8 thoughts on “I’m Down

  1. Way to make lemonade out of those lemons! I *could* go to the garden center today, and also the grocery store, but I really don’t want to face the whole charade of Mother’s Day. I understand, totally.
    Sorry that you were feeling in the dumps. You say you felt like shit. No wonder. Your boss is treating you like shit.

    • Driving through Mother’s Day Brunch-ville would be crazy! I can go on a Monday.
      I had a laugh over a clip I added to the post. The Bogey bitch-slap!
      Blogging is great for spilling out your guts and getting pats on the back. Thanks!

  2. I painted Andrew’s room that same color and its my favorite room in the house! Sorry you are so down. Seems as though all those teenagers need summer work. Where will they be when they return to school at the end of the summer and they are nowhere around? Turn to you of course. Sorry you have to deal with such crap! ~Elle

  3. I hope you’re not being edged out. Sigh. Your work posts are so up and down (an observation, not criticism) and that has to be hard. For many managers their people are just numbers to be messed around with on paper, not real flesh and blood with needs. I hope that the karma fairy comes to them in their 60s with a big dose of “it comes back around.” Grumble. On the other hand, everyone gets grumpy when they hurt from too much physical work, so maybe it’ll pass? Pretty colors you’ve got up there!

  4. I am feeling bad for you right now. I don’t have any words for you (I usually can’t find any for myself sometimes when I’m down) except hang in there, enjoy your friends and make more, talk to your boss’s boss – maybe. Great job with the painting – I’m too lazy to tackle anything that ‘big’. Thanks for posting about your work…I’d rather read other’s than write my own.

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