Cold and Mad/ The Cost of Staying Warm


Its happened again: I’m out of propane. It’s partly my own fault for not ordering sooner.  Friday it was just above 10% so I decided to phone Monday morning. But then it got bitterly cold. I used it up just keeping it at 18 C at night and while I’m at work. By Monday morning it was on ‘refill’. I phoned at 8:00 a.m. She said it would come within 5 working days. (Special delivery costs a lot)Today is Wednesday. They might not even come today.

I hate McRobert Fuels. I try hard not to hate them because it’s such a destructive, negative emotion but I can’t help it. Even though its a rude, heartless woman on the phone and e-mail, this is how I picture McRobert.

mr. Mcroberts

Last year was an extra cold, long winter; I ran up a bill that took me all summer to pay off. Consequently, they put me on a ‘pay first’ list so I have to phone in and put it on my credit card to get a tank of propane. Putting it on my credit card means putting off paying because I don’t have and extra $275 lying around.

I’m blaming my ex today, too.  He phoned in October, (out of the blue, after about 3 years of no contact)  and offered to help me with firewood. Order some slab wood, he said, he’d pay for it, bring me some firewood and take some slab wood home. That’s end pieces and slabs left over from a local sawmill. The smaller pieces help get a hotter fire.  A load of slab-wood is also $275 and it was supposed to be delivered a month ago.  Now I need regular ‘body’ firewood; cut and split logs. That’s $325.

If I got all I need now that would be $875. Mind you, some of that wood will take me into next winter.

When wood is delivered they back down the driveway and dump it at the end. If I order firewood and put out $325, the slab wood is sure to arrive. That means I won’t have enough money and my driveway will be entirely filled with dumped wood.  If I’d known the slab-wood was going to take so long I could’ve ordered body wood weeks ago when there was no snow!  Ggrrrr, I’m mad today!

Last  night I had two baseboard electric heaters going; one in the kitchen and one in the bathroom. I loaded up the wood stove before I went to bed. The thought of a house fire was on my mind. Thank God for my electric blanket! Couldn’t even use that room without it.

It was 14 C when I got up this morning. (Sorry, Americans, can’t remember ‘F‘ but it’s F‘ing cold) Turned up the baseboard heaters, turned on a couple more portable electric  heaters and got the woodstove going again. My Hydro bill (that’s what we called electricity here) is going to be sky high.

Right now I’m in my computer nook, far from my woodstove. I have a noisy radiant heater (loud fan) so I can’t listen for the “beep, beep, beep” of that propane truck backing down. Its all I want to hear right now.

I have to work tonight 5:00 to 9:00 and I really need a shower. It’s noon and I’ve got it up to 18 C. That’s the low temperature I keep the thermostat at. I’ve just got it up to how cold I keep it at night. Too cold to shower!

It reminds me of when you are driving and have to pee. All you can think about is somewhere to pee. I just want to see that damn propane truck backing down my driveway!


I apologize if there are any mistakes but I want to go back to my warm living room and look longingly out the window.


Update: They arrived at 2:10, Yay!  I already had a shower because I couldn’t stand myself and they arrived just as I was drying by the wood stove.

I’m so relieved; I have time for a power nap before I have to get ready for work. I’m going to celebrate by setting the thermostat so it’s warm when I get home from work at 9:30 tonight.  OOooo, decadent!


Sailors Delight

Living on the eastern shores of Lake Huron we get some beautiful sunsets. ‘My Pictures’ is full of them. But the very best one I’ve ever experienced I have no photo of. There was one but I couldn’t wouldn’t share. (wish I had it now, but it was in a computer I didn’t back up)

First of all, it was a brand new camera that I was just learning how to use. Secondly, there was a good chance I was maybe just a little high that day.

It was dusk when I walked into the living room and gasped: the whole sky was blazing red!  At first I thought the house in front of me was on fire but it was the WHOLE sky glowing crimson!

I grabbed my camera and took a few photos then just stood in wonder as it darkened to purple and dusk set in.

I should’ve gone outside but I wanted to show it from my living-room as I was experiencing it; basking in the aura. In hindsight, I sure wish I’d stepped outside and taken one but hindsight’s the best sight.

When it was over I checked the photo. The flash had been on. The main subject of the photo was the refection of the flash on the ‘invisible’ film of plastic used to keep the drafts out. This was outlined by freshly painted, bright white semi-gloss window frames. Behind all that you could make out some red/pink colour.

I’ve been waiting five years for a sunset that good again.

Sorry, no photo.