Pearly Whites

It used to be that getting your whites ‘whiter than white’ referred to your laundry; how to get those shirts glowing white. Now it’s teeth.

The other day a co-worker came over flashing her new smile and I had to blink a few times. My immediate reaction was to close my mouth fearing I had coffee-stained brown teeth.

It’s not just coffee but a lot of healthy things stain your teeth….. carrot juice, beets, wild grape jelly, herbal teas….they all can make your teeth look like you are a chain smoker. Whiter teeth look healthy just like a tan gives one a healthy-looking hue. They both give the illusion of healthiness.

This morning I read a post of a women who tried botox and her experience with face paralysis. Apparently drooling afterwards is a small price to pay.(and $500) She was in her 50’s and felt pressured to keep up as the late 20-year-olds were already doing it.

I can’t imagine starting that young to botox, having another 40 or 50 years ahead. They will have puffed up, numb faces and no way to turn back. It’s going to be a nightmare of self-made monsters.

And hair extensions; now you can have long luxurious hair for only hundreds or thousands of dollars, depending on how much ‘disposable income’ you have.

This is all so crazy.  One good thing about being 61 is that I don’t care anymore. I’m not going to use botox: I don’t even dye my hair anymore. But this teeth thing is a hard one.  I’ve been pricing teeth whitening kits and they are too expensive. And then I get mad that I’m even thinking of it!  Damn!

They are raising the bar too high! Stop the insanity!